There was a time not so very long ago that I thought I had things all figured out. I was going to have a baby and I had learned from the experience of those around us. We would use only organic products, only wooden toys, only cloth diapers, only breast feed, never have the television on. We would read to her every day, and play Mozart at least an hour every evening.
We wouldn’t waste money on things like bottle sanitizers and wipe warmers; those are just a scam. We would buy used and consigned items when we could, we would be frugal. Safety would be of utmost importance and when it came to her safety, money was no object. My child would never have a meltdown in public, and if she did, I would promptly take her home to appease the masses. We would be excellent parents.
It only took a few months for me to get over myself. I have since realized that I’m an idiot. Kids are going to be kids and parents for the most part are just doing the best they can.
I had to stop breastfeeding a few months ago because of a neurological disorder. I was heartbroken that I was going to be condemning my daughter to a lifetime of compromised health and development. I’ve realized now that she’s going to be just fine.
We try to feed her good and wholesome foods but realize that she will in fact not be irrevocably harmed if she eats a French fry every once in a while. If she plays with a plastic Fisher Price toy, her skin is most likely not going to burn right off her little fingers, and chances are, if the news is on while she’s in the room, she’s not going to be doomed to childhood obesity and attention deficit disorder.
Sometimes while I’m at the grocery store, she starts crying; she’s had enough. But we are out of milk and toilet paper; I have to finish shopping. So I sling her on my hip, try to shush her the best I can and plod forward. Sometimes kids cry, it happens. And people will glare at me, but I need milk and toilet paper. I’m sorry she’s crying, it’s hard for me too, I assure you.
Sure, there are parenting styles and choices that I don’t agree with and wouldn’t want to replicate in my home, but that’s okay. I know for a fact there are things we do that people don't agree with. For the most part, parents are just doing the best they can and have their own reasons for why they make the choices they do. We don’t need to judge one another. I’m going to work much harder to keep my own mouth shut and have a little perspective.
After all, this is the toughest job we’ll ever do, and frankly, most of us are just making it up as we go along.
Like a waterfall in slow motion, Part One
3 years ago
2 comments:
We are totally making it up as we go along, even after we've had multiple children it's like that. Sure some things are a wee bit easier, you don't second guess yourself in some areas but find yourself second guessing in new places.
Parenting is totally like that.
Nice to meet you and your little one. She's adorable!
After all they don't come with a manual. You can read every baby book and do everything right and everything you can ...but after all they are just tiny people just like you and me. They are going to have good days and bad I have found out.
Sometimes I wish each kid would be born with there own manual. lol but we are all learning together. us as the parents and them as the kids. There is nothing that I hate more then when people will glare at you when your child is crying at the store, looking at you as if you are the problem. It's very annoying. Or when stranges will come up and tell you what is wrong with your own child. People are so rude when it comes to parenting and pregnancy. I'm just venting because I hate when people just decide that because they see a preg. women they feel the need to tell you everything. Oh well
good luck
sara
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