Thursday, September 23, 2010

Unfortunate test answers

The school year has begun, and therefore it is once again time for some unfortunate test answers.

After working for two weeks on a map of the state of Washington, I gave them a 20 question quiz on the state. These were basic, non-Jeopardy level questions. Behold the answers:

Question:
1) what serves as the border between Oregon and Washington?
-a draw bridge
(should be Columbia river)
other answers included "idk" and "a river and a body of water"

2) If you are in Bellingham and drive North for 2 hours, where will you be?
-Spokane
(should be Canada)

3) If you are in Spokane and drive east for two hours, where will you be?
-The Atlantic Ocean
(should be Idaho)

4) Handford Reach National Monument is located on what body of water?
-Eerie Lake
(should be the Columbia)

5) What physical feature is highest in elevation in this state?
-timber (possible answers are: mountains, the Cascade mountains or Mt. Rainier.)

6.) What is the major industry of the Coastal Range in Washington?
-mountains (timber, commercial fishing or tourism would have been accepted)

7.) Washington State University is located in Pullman, WA. In what REGION do WSU students live?
Answers given by students:
-puget sound
-Spokane
-Pullman
-Seattle
Answer? Columbia Plateau

8.) Washington has two major mountain ranges, what are they called?
Mt. Rainier and Mt. Everest

Monday, September 06, 2010

Things I learned while camping in the backyard...

This weekend, E. and I went over to Wenatchee to spend some time with my grandparents, cousins, uncles and aunts. You could call it an impromtu family reunion, but with only half the family. Most importantly, my husband was missing, He was missing because, as he is every weekend, he was working. And as is true on every holiday weekend, he was working all of the hours of the days of the weekend.


And so we went to Wenatchee to spend time with the cousins, the aunts, the uncles and the grandparents.


The entire drive to Wenatchee, E. asked me how much longer, were we almost there, and when would we get to see the cousins?


You see, my uncle and aunt were tweens when I came into the world, so to me, they've always just been more like really really cool older siblings. Accordingly, my Uncle's youngest daughter is only three months older than E. and when they are together the volume in the surrounding area increases exponentially.


Aside from BBQ's, a Spaghetti dinner and playing "what not to wear" @ Macy's with my aunts, the other major event of this weekend as a "girl's only" campout in my grandmother's backyard. My daughter, My Aunts, My Uncle & Aunt's three daughters, and myself all crawled into my Uncle's 10-man tent. We had sleeping bags, sleeping mats and a herd of small children. It was fun, but I learned a few things about myself and about backyard camping:


1.) I am no longer able to sleep on the ground. I can lay on the ground, I can talk and tell stories and giggle on the ground, but even with an inflated sleeping mat, sleep is not something I can do.


2.) Even though they will be beside themselves with excitement about the prospect of camping, the children will be the first to fall asleep.


3.) We (the adults) should have brought wine, a deck of cards and a lantern into the tent. Going to bed @ 8:30 was practical, thinking the girls would be up forever. When they were all asleep by 9 however, we felt kind of silly just lying there waiting for darkness and sleep....which never came for some of us.


4.) I always knew my daughter sleeps sideways and possibly upside down, what I didn't know was my 7 year-old cousin also does this; especially when lying beside me. I had little legs and arms (from both girls) flopped across me the entire night. This could have had something to do with the lack of sleep.


5.) Children become heavier at night. Even little 30 and 40 pounders somehow weigh as much as an adult when you try to "re-position" them on their own sleeping mat and off your face.


6.) If your Uncle/brother/spouse says "there's NO WAY you girls are going to stay in that tent all night," you will stay in the tent, even if you can't sleep. Even if the wind is blowing so hard, the tent is folding into your face, you will stay, just to prove him wrong.


7.) Little girls tell great stories.


8.) The built-in "small child alarm" works outdoors too. In fact, they wake up even earlier, since the sun is pouring in.


9.) The sound of little girls giggling is one of the best sounds in the world; I wish I could bottle it.


10.) I hope this becomes an annual tradition, although next year, I'm bringing a cot. And wine.



Friday, August 20, 2010

What happened to my baby?

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Monday, August 16, 2010

Post-Europe observations.

I have now been home from Germany for two whole weeks and yet, all I ever posted were the first two days. Why? It's a complicated combination of factors including no internet in our hotels, laziness, exhaustion and having too many other fun things to do while there.

Now that I'm home, I have successfully processed all photos into a printed hard-back photo album and have proceeded to begin helping my daughter adjust back to life with her boring parents, instead of fabulous grandparents who doted upon her daily and took her all over the county to exciting parks, zoos and other attractions we locals somehow manage to miss.

I can share a few observations of our time in Germany however, now that I've had time to reflect:

1) Germany is a beautiful country with a complicated history, not unlike our own.

2) Everything smells and tastes better when you're on vacation.

3) We are not "traveling" types, we are "go somewhere and people-watch types." While we were happy to see all we saw, we both agreed we tried to squeeze far too much in and would have just been as happy in a tiny town in Bavaria for the whole trip.

4) Never, ever doubt your instinct to bring your rain coat on a trip. Even in July. You will regret leaving your rain coat. You will regret it most when you are in the mountains and find yourself in the middle of a torrential downpour where your "rain resistant" wind breaker starts sticking to your skin, through your shirt.

5) It turns out, even though I once studied there as an impoverished student and only got around via trains, I do not know how to drive on the autobahn from one German city to a town in Austria. Even if my husband asks me if he should "turn left or right," I won't know the answer because I never drove in Europe, nor did I ever stay in a hotel.

6) It is in fact possible to take 2.5 hours to drive to a location 5 miles away ; especially if you don't understand the map or the directions being given to you by the locals. Things can also get muddy when there are two versions of the street you are trying to find. For example, if you are trying to find "Eppelheimer street" it's helpful if you know that there is "Eppelheimer street, and there is also "OLD Eppelheimer street," and the one you want is the OLD one. Very key.

7) I get very cranky in car museums, car factories and car showrooms, especially when I haven't eaten for several hours. This is something I never knew about myself.

8) 220km/hour= 136mph. In case you weren't sure, that's very fast. I can't tell you however, what the scenery looks like @ 220km/hr, as I was in the fetal position on the floor.

9) After 10 years, I still remembered enough German to order food and drinks (especially drinks) buy things and ask basic questions of salespeople, understand most road signs and successfully navigate from Frankfurt through the Alps and back. It may have taken longer than it would other, more prepared folk, but we did it.

10) Even if there was some tension on the road and auto museum, it's hard to stay cranky for long when you're on a two week European vacation with your husband.

Saturday, July 17, 2010

Heidelberg, Day 2.

Today we awoke to a cloudy, windy morning. We immediately got in the rental car to return it to the company, as we no longer had any need for it.

This small feat turned into a two hour adventure, as the map provided to us was substantially incorrect and our ability to navigate the bad directions in “New town, Heidelberg” with all the one-way streets, round-abouts and “do not turn” areas.

We finally made it just in time for the clouds to open with a torrential thunder/lightening storm including rain droplets the size of dimes. We called for a cab (and by we, I mean the nice man behind the counter @ the rental agency,) and rode back to our hotel where we promptly grabbed our jackets and set out for lunch; Kayaking was out of the question due to the weather.



We spent the afternoon wandering the streets of “Old Town,“ where Bryan discovered a soccer field made of Gummy Bears


And I remembered how much I love this place.


This evening, we celebrated our 6th wedding anniversary with a dinner downtown. Bryan began the evening with his most favorite beer, Kostritzer, and promptly gave me a history of the beer and where it is made. (Kosritz, Northern Germany, for those curious.) I had only a Diet Coke, as I was fighting a raging headache.

Bryan ordered more beer,
and after the Tylenol and caffeine kicked in, I was able to enjoy my meal and have a lovely glass of local wine.

After dinner, we walked some more and took some shots of the castle and bridge by night.

Tomorrow we will leave our hotel and go to the reunion in Moore Haus, where I lived in 1999-2000 as a Pepperdine student.

Friday, July 16, 2010

We made it!

After a 15 hour flight, we arrived in Germany @ 7am today, local time. We had been awake since 4am Pacific time, yesterday, having had only a 2-hour nap prior to our departure. Needless to say, we were a bit tired upon arrival.

Upon arrival, we found our rental car and began the short trek south with Bryan @ the wheel, and me in the navigator's chair, hoping I would remember the language I spoke 10 years ago. We made it in good time and found our way to our hotel where we immediately crashed. What was supposed to be a one hour nap quickly morphed into 3. However, after having been up for the previous 24+hours, we felt a mid-day sleep completely acceptable.

We awoke to the sound of engines revving, and determined there was an event happening on the river. We soon discovered we were so wrong, and my husband became oh so happy. It turns out, this afternoon began the Historic Heidelberg classic car show, and it was happening right outside our room!


Bryan found more than a few cars that made him drool, including this Porche:

We then found our way to some lunch, did a little shopping, as I soon discovered I was gravely mistaken in my "Europeans don't wear shorts and therefore I won't wear shorts" philosophy. We wandered the streets some more, enjoyed dinner @ a local pub where we sat for several hours and watched the people go by. Bryan is already trying to conjur up a way for us to move here.

Here are a few more photos for your enjoyment:

"Heidelberg Schloss" (aka- the Heidelberg Castle)


"Die Hauptstrasse" aka, Main Street


My Man in my favorite place


I am happy to report that although I did not have the skills in German to purchase a pre-paid Sim card for our cell phone @ the phone store, I was able to navigate from Frankfurt to Heidlberg and do all of our food ordering and purchasing without speaking English. I'm hoping it will improve with each day we are here.

We are thinking about kayaking tomorrow...stay tuned.

Bis Dann!

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

T-36 hours

Less than 36 hours to departure. My daughter is displeased that she is being left behind and is subsequently making us suffer her wrath. As a result, I will have an upset stomach and will not be able to sleep until we are somewhere over the Atlantic. Avoiding me is advised.

Monday, July 12, 2010

Counting down the days, and being punished for every one.

In 2 and a half 5 days, Bryan and I will be headed to Germany for my reunion and our anniversary. In the meantime, our daughter is going to make sure we suffer for our leaving her. (She will be in perfect hands, under the loving watch of Bryan's parents who are graciously flying in to stay with her.)

She is contrary, angry, emotional, and then wants to be held, snuggling against our chest, being the absolute sweetest little girl one could ever imagine.

She knows we are leaving, and with every passing hour she becomes more and more dramatic. Tonight, she declared "Mommy, I don't want you to leave me! And then said she didn't want to eat dinner. I offered her some food anyway; she declined. 20 minutes later, I said, "I'm going to make dinner soon, what sounds yummy to you?" She said "I don't want to eat dinner, I not hungwy."

She continued to refuse any food or beverage for the remainder of the evening. I was not about to get into a power struggle over dinner; she was more than welcome to skip it, but then there would be no eating later.

At 6:30, she was being especially clingy, and I held her on the couch, tickling her back, playing with her hair. Much of the time, she was sucking her thumb and lying on my lap. She kept saying "Mommy, I don't want you to leave me." To which I would respond that I would be coming back, and then we would talk about all the fun things she is going to do with her grandparents.

Things soon deteriorated; we tried skyping with my aunt @ 6:45, but she was so rude and contrary, I logged off and declared bedtime.

I carried her up the stairs as she sucked her thumb and argued she wasn't tired.

Once in her room, I pulled off her socks and pants, and began putting on her jammies, it was only then that she cried she was hungry. I told her it was too late, she made a choice to not eat and she would have to wait and eat in the morning.

The ensuing meltdown ranks in the top 10 ever. Screaming, thrashing, crying, sobbing, pleading for her Daddy (he's @ work.) This went on for nearly 30 minutes until she finally stopped and started gently and pathetically saying "I want my Mommy."

I walked in, gave her a hug, kissed her and told her she needed to go to sleep. She argued she didn't want to go to sleep. I told her "I know you think you don't want to go to sleep, but sometimes we have to do things even when we don't want to, and you are very tired and have had a very hard night."

She then said "But I want to be nice now, Mommy, I want to go downstairs because I am being nice."

I thanked her for being nice, told her it was bedtime, stroked her hair and said goodnight.

She began crying again, only this time saying "Mommy, don't LEAVE ME, MOMMY! I Want my Mommy!"


It's been a great night. I can't wait for what tomorrow will bring.

Thursday, July 08, 2010

Leavin' on a Jet Plane

In exactly one week, Bryan and I will get on a plane and fly over the big blue ocean. Destination: Germany.

Frequently asked questions:
Why are we going?
It's my 10-year reunion for my college study-abroad program.

Where are we going?
Germany, Switzerland and Austria.

How long will we be there?
14 days

Why so long?
Because it's Europe! How often do you get to go to Europe?

Have we ever been there before?
Ummm....yes. Bryan however, has not.

Do we speak German?
I do. Him, not so much.

Why aren't we taking our daughter?
Because she's 3 and we couldn't justify the expense; plus Bryan wanted a vacation sans child; we haven't had a vacation just the two of us since we were married. Yes, he has big plans for this trip.

Who is watching her?
Her "Momo and Popo" aka, Bryan's parents.

What do you plan to do while there.
See lots of castles and drink lots of beer. Oh, and Bryan is insisting on a tour of the BMW museum.

I'll be bringing my laptop, so stay tuned for picts and stories.

In the meantime, enjoy this beautiful picture of our first location:

Saturday, June 19, 2010

"Bad Dog" continued....

Hi Sweetie-

Thank you for making me breakfast. I'm sure it was good. I wanted to get Evie to day care just in case Sears was here at 8:01. I was going to eat it when I got home, but found that Porita had already indulged. Somehow she managed to get the coffee cup off the counter without breaking or chipping it, remove the foil which was flattened out, and I found the coffee cup right side up, empty in the middle of the family room floor. She is now currently in exile in the garage. Thought you might find this funny.

Have a good day!

Love you.

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Bad Dog....

This is what happens when your dog gets herself stuck in the laundry / mud room and has anxiety about being trapped. She chews up not one but two door handles and the molding around one door! She has damaged the one door knob so bad, that she punctured the metal and now the locking mechanism will not even turn!

This is the day after she ate a pair of pants!!!





Friday, June 11, 2010

Evie's first Seattle Storm game!

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Thursday, May 20, 2010

Landscaping Project






Here is the current progress on our landscaping adventure from start to half way through the day.

Monday, May 17, 2010

What I won't miss..

Summer break is officially five weeks away and just like the students, the teachers are also counting down to vacation.

While I love teaching and I love my students, we have reached the part of the school year where the students become well, ridiculous and the teachers start to go 'round the bend.

Accordingly, I will not miss the following:

1) children jumping in the hallway to smack the door frame, and then sighing in disgust when you tell them NOT to jump and slap the wall.

2) the sound of gum smacking in a teenage mouth, and then sighing in disgust when you tell them to spit it out.

3) the distinct smell of a boy who has been running outside in the heat.

4) being asked "what did you just say?"

5) for that matter, being asked "Wait, how many points is this worth?"

6) the question: "wait, Europe ISN'T a country?"

7) chanting (in chorus) all the continents from west to East, after a student asks if Europe is a country.

8) handing out progress reports to those with missing work, only to have them come up to me the next day and ask if they are missing any work.

9) saying "what should you be doing right now?" and/or "thank you to those of you who are following directions."

10) grading essays

What will I miss?
1) Seeing a student's eyes light up when they finally "get it."

2) watching a student finally start working and seeing the fruits of their labor

3) my students cheering every morning as I walk to the classroom to unlock the door

4) the sound of 28 tweens laughing in the middle of a lesson, not because they're messing around, but because they are having fun while learning, despite their best efforts to the contrary.

5) teaching

Nature

I was just sitting here on my bed, watching the trees dance in the wind, listening to Evie sing in her bed, completely minding my own business when suddenly a I was overwhelmed- a skunk walked by the open window. Stupid wild animals.

Big-Girl bed

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Monday, May 10, 2010

The White House

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Evie loves the Sounders

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Sounders game

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Friday, April 09, 2010

Evie on her way home from the zoo.

Thursday, April 08, 2010

Evie saying hello!

Friday, April 02, 2010

Evie at school listening to a story.

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Saturday, March 27, 2010

Evie resting in Portia's new couch!

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Thursday, March 11, 2010

Spawning

I was teaching today about the importance of salmon in the pacific northwest, especially to the Coastal Indians. (we're studying the first peoples of Washington, you see.)

So there I was, trying to explain how the Native Americans used nets called "weirs" to catch the fish when they were spawning. And there, the problem was born.

Spawning.

Spawning and the 7th grade.

Yeah.

So of course, I was asked, "Mrs. Scott, was IS spawning?"

And I looked at the student, and I looked at the class, and I said, "it's one of your vocabulary words, you tell me."

And the student said, "you mean, like the fish, you know, do it?"

I said "No. They lay eggs."

It was then that another student rasied their hand, "but wait Mrs. Scott, if the girl fish lay the eggs, are they already, you know, all "fertilized?" I mean, you know, do the boy fish have, like, thingies?"

Sigh. And off the tracks we go...

And so I tried to explain that the female fish would release her eggs and the male fish would then fertilize them as they fell into the rocks below.

"But Mrs. Scott, how are the eggs BEING fertilized? I mean, you know, are the boy fish HURTING the eggs? How does it work, exactly?"

Ahem. I should have just stopped it right there. But no. I am always one to try to explain things. I always try to answer their questions. Because you see, I'm an idiot.

And at this moment, it came to me, the perfect metaphor. I can explain this to them in a way they can understand.

And so I said, "how many of you have ever seen a crop dusting plane flying over a field?"

It was at that moment I realized maybe my idea was maybe not as good as I thought. I could hear my brain saying "nooooooooo!"

But it was too late. It was out there. The plane, and the dusting.

"So you mean Mrs. Scott, the boy fish SPRAY their stuff? All over the eggs?"

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH"

Good-bye topic. Good by attention. Good-bye class, I can see I have completely lost you by now.

Just another day in the 7th grade.

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

I should have quit while I was behind....

Tonight was swimming lesson night.

For me, this is always a stressful night because I have to leave school, drive across the bridge, pick Evie up from daycare, drive to the Y, change into our swimwear and both of us in the pool by 5pm. On a good night, this is nearly impossible for me.

Tonight however, was beyond ridiculous.

I left work with ample time, drove to daycare, successfully picked her up and got to the Y with 10 minutes to spare, (an all-time record for me.) Feeling proud of myself for having so much extra time, I allowed myself the time to dress us at a leisurely pace. I got Evie's clothes off, her swim suit on, and gave her her towel to hold while I got undressed. Sadly however, I didn't realize until after I was standing in the locker room in my all together, that sometime between last night when I packed the gym bag and that moment of public nakedness, my swim suit had somehow made it out of the gym bag and was nowhere to be found.

Evie can't be in the pool without me yet, so I had to frantically get dressed put her clothes back on her, get shoes on the both of us, re-pack the bag and run out of the Y with a crying, devastated child in tow, who was reaching for the pool begging to go swimming.

I got in the car, drove home, found my suit lying on the middle of my bedroom floor, threw it and a pair of my hubs' swim trunks on, grabbed a sweatshirt and headed out the door.

We arrived at the pool, and I dropped the bag on the pool deck, stripped her, pulled off my sweatshirt and jumped in the pool. Just as I was about to take a quick dunk to wet our hair, I realized her ear plugs weren't in her ears. Since she's the ear infection and tube queen, I immediately pulled her OUT of the pool, quickly squished her plugs in her ears and jumped back in.

I then started explaining to the teacher why we were so late, when I realized she had on no swim diaper. I contemplated just leaving her diaperless, she has after all, been wearing panties successfully all week/weekend. But I just knew that if I did this, she would chose this time to forget about being potty trained.

So I pulled her BACK out of the pool, grabbed our stuff, quickly walked to the locker room, stripped her naked, pulled a dry swim diaper out of the bag and desperately fought to get it on her now very wet bum; I then proceeded to fight with her soaking wet swimsuit to pull it back on her.

FINALLY, we got in the water- suited, plugged and diapered. By this point we had 5 more minutes of lesson and it was over.

I played with her for 30 minutes in the family swim area and with the promise of a happy meal, got out of the pool.

We went back in to the locker room to change back in to our warm clothes. I successfully got her dressed and had her sitting on the bench waiting for me to change. It was only then that I realized I had left the house IN my swim suit and a sweatshirt. I had no panties, no bra and certainly no real clothes to put on. I rummaged through the bag and found a pair of workout pants. I went to the bathroom, pulled off the soaking wet suit, pulled ON the pants and the sweatshirt over my cold body and left for the local drive through.

She better become a dang fine swimmer.

Sunday, February 21, 2010

What does it mean to be content in a world full of oppulence?

I have been having a discussion with my husband about our life as of late. It seems, many of my married girlfriends are having similar conversations with their spouses. In a rough economy, many of our men-folk are feeling overwhelmed, dejected and generally frustrated with their percieved lack of accomplishments, thinking they should be far more financially secure by now, since they are after all, in their 30s. They are comparing their lives to that of their parents and grandparents. They remember a time when their parents had solid jobs and were home by 6 every night, where then the entire family would sit down and eat a healthy and well-balanced dinner. They remember being taken on fun vacations every summer, going to the store to pick out fresh school supplies and new clothes every fall and Christmases with stacks of presents as high as the tree itself.

Apparently all our husbands grew up on a television sitcom.

I grew up in a house with 6 kids and very little money. We literally ate what we could grow and when the food ran low, we just spread it out to last a little bit longer. Often this meant living off a pot of soup made of whatever my Mom could find in the cupboards. Chicken was for special occasions only; rabbit was the meat of choice (we raised them on the farm.) I ate my first steak my senior year of high school. On a daily basis we drank only water or milk (which was from the goat when times got really lean,) we only had soda on birthdays. We had juice only when my parents got paid but it would be the cheapest kind one could purchase; we could always tell how the family finances were doing, depending on whether or not there was a can of juice concentrate in the freezer.

We only got new clothes on our birthday and Christmas, and even then it was one outfit we got to pick out. Nearly everything we wore or played with was gently used, and given to us by friends or family who had since replaced them with the latest trends.

The thing is, I don't remember my childhood as a horrible time. Granted there are aspects of it that I'd rather not think about (mainly those painful events inflicted upon us by floundering parents) but as far as the kids being able to find ways to play and having fun? That was never in short supply. We spent endless hours of my childhood exploring the fields and forests around my house, using our imaginations to create new and exciting worlds.

I grew up in a house where if you "wanted" something badly enough, you would find a way to earn some money and save it until you had enough to buy what you wanted. This meant I was working by age 11, driving the hay truck or bucking bales, mowing lawns, caring for neighbor animals and livestock, mucking out stalls etc. Often, I found by the time I earned the money required to buy whatever it was I thought I wanted, it didn't seem that important to me anymore, and I just kept saving. When there was a time when I did really, really want something (like a new bat for softball) being able to buy them myself was a huge accomplishment and I subsequently treated my "possessions" with great care.

I guess what I'm trying to say is, the harder you have to work for something, the more you tend to care about it.

I know for me, I've never felt more blessed than I do now. I have a healthy and happy daughter and a loving husband. Sure we don't have the cars we would *like* to drive, or the house we'd *like* to have or make the money we would *like* to earn, but we both have a strong education and decent jobs that don't require us to work outside in the elements. We have a healthy and happy little girl, a cozy house to live in and a fridge full of food. To me, this is still pretty amazing.

There will always be somebody who is more successful, more rich, more beautiful. I guess the question is, when will we decide to be happy with who we are and what we have in this life?

Thursday, February 18, 2010

What do you think?

The US Snowboarding team is wearing specially-designed plaid jackets and gore-tex "denim" pants supplied by Burton. Some say they look too casual for the world stage, some say they perfectly symbolize America's style.

What do you think?

Wednesday, February 03, 2010

Evie reading a book 02/03/2010

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Evie dancing 02/03/2010

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Tuesday, February 02, 2010

"How Mr. Wiggles lost his head" Or "How to traumatize 7th graders."

Mr. Wiggles was the class fish; my students named him. He was a bright blue Beta who I purchased from the local pet shop in September. He cost all of $3.75. He lived in a little "Beta" cube, which cost approximately three times that of the fish.

From September onward, Mr. Wiggles lives in his little home, which was perched on the bookshelf in the front of the classroom, so all could see him throughout the day. The children loved greeting him as they entered the room, asking him how his day was going. If he ever dared sleep, the class would inevitably burst into raucous chatter about his status- was he sleeping, or had he died?

It became a bit of a ritual, really. I would be in the middle of teaching when suddenly a child would start pointing to the cube, whispering to their neighbor. Soon, nearby students would overhear and continue in the speculation, until I would finally have to stop, walk over and tap the polycarbonate glass wall. Every time he would spring to action and the class would take a collective sigh.

Yesterday I returned to work from an extended medical absence. After settling in, I noticed Mr. Wiggles' tank water was not the regular clean translucent blue, but instead had taken on a pond-like quality, murky and green. Shortly after I made my observation my students began explaining that they ALL decided to care for Mr. Wiggles during my leave. Apparently, my Sub. had done the same; Mr. Wiggles had been fed enough food for six months in 12 days. I told the students we would clean the cube on Tuesday, during homeroom.

Today during homeroom, I announced it was time to clean Mr. Wiggles' home. 25 hands shot up in the air, volunteering to do the deed. I assigned two students and gave them the supplies- a small net to get him out, a little cup of filtered water wherein he could swim while his cube was cleaned, paper towels and a pass to the bathroom for cleaning.

The girls eagerly grabbed the net, and proceeded to "catch" the fish. The fish was in a body of water approximately 4" deep, in a 6'x6" square, but catching him was quite the elusive task. After a great deal of argument over proper technique, coaxing and several "helpful" suggestions offered from on-looking students, finally the fish was captured. Sadly however, this was the beginning of the end for our dear pet.

Once in the net, the girls stood there, unsure as to what to do next. With great urgency, I told them he needed to be in water; they quickly slammed the net into the cup of water and held it there, looking at me. "He's stuck, we can't get him out of the net!" They cried. I explained, "You have to keep the net open and gently let him swim out."

They yanked the net (with fish) back out of the water and proceeded to "coax" him out of his entanglement- by pulling on the edge of the net and trying to knock him into the water.

At this point, several children were screaming "Be careful, don't HURT him!" But it was too late. Mr. Wiggles slid down into the clean clear water; he was motionless. His body pointed up, mouth at the surface, fin at the bottom, lying in the water like a torpedo.

The room went silent; they looked at me in horror.

One student tapped the cup. He remained still.

“NOOOOOO!” One student cried, in his best Hollywood yell.

“He’s DEAD! You KILLED Mr. Wiggles!”

The poor student looked at me aghast. “Is he really dead, Mrs. Scott?”

“Umm, YES. He’s very, very dead.”

“I’m so, so sorry, I don’t know what happened!”

“It’s ok, these things happen.”

I then declared he would have to be flushed. Again, 25 hands shot up in the air. Some suggested we have a funeral, some wanted to go in a group and have a “ceremony” in the boys’ bathroom. I declined all suggestions and allowed one boy to carry the fish down to the restroom in the plastic cup. Others volunteered to clean out the cube.

About five minutes later, the fish flusher returned, stricken.

“You ok Bud?”

“His head fell off.”

“WHAT?!”

“His head. It fell off. When I dumped the water in the toilet, his head fell off. If just floated there. It was really gross, Mrs. Scott.”

“Oh NO, I’m so sorry that happened.”

“Uh huh.”

And so we are now without a fish. Approximately 30 seconds after he was gone, students began suggesting new pets for our class. Some wanted a hampster, others a snake. The number one suggestion was a naked mole rat.

I vetoed all pet suggestions; I think we need a break from live creatures being in the class. At least other than the human variety.

Monday, January 18, 2010

No more mummy wrap

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Saturday, January 16, 2010

Thursday, January 14, 2010

Steph's Surgery Update

Just talked to Dr. Friedman, Steph's doctor...there was a little bit of meniscus tear which he cleaned up (minimal), and he released some tension in the patellar retinacular medial ligament hoping to allow the patella to track a little better. This was all he was able to do through the scope. No other problems really noticed but if it is still an issue, the next options are more of a reconstructive issue moving ligaments and/or bone. Only about a 50% chance this is going to fix her current knee problem but it was worth the chance to try this attempt first.

This is what I know so far. Currently we are sitting in Post Op 2.

Sunday, January 10, 2010

We really put an emphasis on oral hygiene at our house

Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

New Haircut

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Wednesday, January 06, 2010

An open letter to the parents of 7th grade students

Dear Parent,

I am sorry your child won't do their homework and their grade is now horrible. However, please don't blame me. Of course your child is very talented and is brilliant at everything they can do. How proud you must be of them! And yes, until this year, your child has always been an “A” student and you cannot understand why they could ever have such a low grade now.

I know it is tempting to blame the teacher. After all, your child has always excelled at everything and the only change has been me, so obviously, I must be the problem. Unfortunately, you are missing one MAJOR element here. Your child is entering adolescence.

Your child is becoming a teenager, and with this also comes hormones. Sadly, when children are pumped full of hormones, they only have blood flow to control one part of their body at a time. They lose their abilities to think rationally due to no fault of their own; they are basically toddlers stuck in adult bodies.

However, I have also heard your child has their own cell phone, with which they text message their friends into all hours of the night. Of course they wouldn’t go to sleep, they are basically toddlers and have no sense. And when you let them use their phones and you don't take it away when they wrack up thousands of minutes, what would keep them from continuing?

And of course you would buy them an XBOX live for their birthday; they obviously deserve it. But your child tells me they spend every minute they have, when they are not at practice, playing it. So obviously they are too tired to study.

Finally, I know your child is taking music lessons and is on the select sports team; obviously keeping your child well-rounded and allowing them to use their talents is good for them.

Unfortunately, with your child being so busy, what with the wracking up 3000 text messages per month, playing their XBOX live until 2am on a Wednesday and spending every other night at soccer practice and piano lessons, your child has little to no time for other activities, like sleeping and doing their homework.

They come to my class exhausted, often wearing the same outfit they had on the night before, as they are far too tired in the morning to shower or put on clean clothes. By the time they are finally awake and ready to learn, they are so hopped up on their lunch of Doritos, fruit snacks, soda, Oreos and a PB & J, they can barely sit still.

I know that parenting a teenager is one of the hardest thing any person has to do in their life. I have 58 of them, I understand. But I would really like to ask you a favor. Would you mind meeting me in the middle? I have to teach them every day, and like I said, I have a lot of them. So could you take over when they get home?

Could you make them do their homework BEFORE they play their video games? And since your child currently has such a horrible grade in all their classes (not just mine,) perhaps it is time to consider taking away some privileges, (like the games, or that select sports team, or their cell phone,) until they can prove they are responsible enough to handle their job as a student and a member of your family.

I know your child tells you that you are being unfair and that they hate you when you do actually make them suffer some consequences. It must be very hard to have your own child speak to you so horribly. However, please understand, it is much better they learn hard lessons now, when they are still very young, than when they are actually adults in society.
Thank you,

The teacher

Monday, January 04, 2010

Sunday, January 03, 2010

A Year in Review

2009- A Summary

January
A new President was inaugurated, Evie had tubes put in and we bought a new dining set fit for giants.

February
Evie demonstrated her independence and Steph nearly killed her students on Valentine’s Day.

March
The water heater exploded, the state cut funding for education and Stephanie’s brain died. March was bad.

April
Bryan’s Grandmother came to visit.
Still recovering from the seizures, Steph started back to work, where one of her students wrote an essay about the “16th” chapel.

May
Evie discovered the potty by throwing things in it, and Bryan really, really hated his job.

June
We finally finished the flooring project, three years after it began.
Steph’s school year and job ended; Bryan still hated his job.

July
Bryan’s family came to visit and Evie turned two! Bryan and Steph celebrated five years of marriage.
Steph taught summer school to a high school English class of 17 boys and one girl; by the end of summer school, the class was down to 10 boys and one girl.
Steph bought a 2003 VW as her commuter car; it started breaking the week after she drove it off the lot.

August
Steph was hired back to her school in the same position for another year; Puck tried to eat Evie’s face and the hunt was one to find him a new home.
Evie started dancing, all the time.
Bryan was at work most of the month, dealing with “Cash for Clunkers.”

September
Steph turned 30 and started her first school year in her OWN classroom.

October
Puck moved away, Bryan had a birthday and he and Evie went to Texas for his 10-year college reunion/homecoming. Evie was a perfect traveler.
Then they got home and Evie drank a bottle of Motrin.

November
Steph dislocated her knee.
We celebrated Thanksgiving and Bryan continued to hate his job.


December
Steph enjoyed two weeks away from seventh graders, we celebrated Evie's third Christmas and Bryan enjoyed some quality time with his best friend, Brian T.