Small wonders

I went to the doctor and am being referred to a specialist for my "issues." In the meantime, I was told to go off the meds. to prevent further issues.

After my appointment, Evie and I went to the grocery store. We have been living out of the ridiculously stocked pantry for a while and finally got to the point that we actually needed food again. The trouble for me however is with my wheat allergy as well as my fruit allergy, I can't just eat a bowl of cereal, or grab an apple, or some crackers or make a sandwich. Everything I eat has to be pre-made or I have to cook it up. When we are out of groceries, this causes a problem for me. So, this morning I realized I didn't have anything to eat. I just made myself a protein drink and called it breakfast.

The reason I am telling you this is because as Evie and I were walking out of the grocery store with a cart full of food I started feeling a bit feeble. It was 2:45 and I realized I had yet to eat today. I knew I'd still have to prepare something for myself before I would be able to eat, and as I was tired and Evie was in dire need of a nap, I acquiesced and went to a drive thru to order myself a plain burger (I'd take off the bun at home.)

While sitting there behind a row of cars (apparently 3:00 is the time to hit the Dairy Queen) I noticed hanging below the eve, attached to a shrub, a very large spider. He was in the process of spinning his web, but was beginning. Have you ever watched a spider spin a web? It is really quite amazing. He had the "foundation" spun, (which looked like the metal parts of a dart board) and was beginning to spin the interior web. The web itself was about the size of a basketball and even though the wind was blowing quite hard, that spider just went 'round and 'round, making a perfect, symmetrical circle. He maintained the exact same distance every time he made a pass around the web and seemed unfazed by the fact that the wind was blowing the whole web like a swing.

As I sat there, waiting for the cars in front of me to move, I stared at this spider with wonderment. How did the spider know to spin the web, and how did he manage to make it so perfect, every single time? Are there "master web makers" and some spiders who make crappy webs, or do all spiders everywhere make perfectly symmetrical webs? Do they have to practice or do they know how to do it perfectly the very first time?

I then wondered how anyone could live in this world and look at something as simple and yet miraculous as a spider spinning a web and not believe in a creator? I can understand how people could be frustrated with God, or even mad at God when disaster strikes, but I cannot understand how a person could live in this world and see animals and trees and know how everything is interconnected so miraculously and still believe that this happened out of mere coincidence.

I don't really know why I'm sharing this. I guess that seeing that spider going about his business reminded me how small we all are, and yet how miraculous it is that we are here, living in this time and in this place.

Into the darkness

I'm now on a new medication and I'm not sure that it is going very well. I've been officially diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder instead of post-partum depression. I'm on anti-anxiety medication and am seeing somebody to try to gain some insight as to why I am being afflicted with anxiety now, but never before (that I know of.) I am also trying to develop some tools to help manage the anxiety, this way I won't have to be on the meds. permanently.
The trouble of course is finding the correct medication and the correct dose. This is not an exact science, and there is no way to get a serotonin level, short of dipping into my brain (no gracias) so we have to just play around until we get the correct mix. In the meantime, I contend with the effects, and of course these aren't minor effects.
The first medication I was on sent me into a black abyss of exhaustion and sleepiness. I felt like every ounce of energy had been leeched from within and I had to quite literally drag myself down the stairs and force myself to function. The minor task of walking across the room, making a bottle etc. felt like a 5-mile run. All I wanted to do was sleep and I had the added bonus of feeling nauseous at all times.
I'm now on a different medication and have quite the opposite effect. Now I feel like I can't turn my brain off at all. I lie in bed flopping and flopping, unable to stop the obsessive thinking. The bad thoughts pervade and it's like a running transcript day and night, night and day.
While I am not physically tired, I am starting to feel an emotional drain. Everything is analyzed and over-analyzed to the 10th degree. I can't turn off the tapes, and the more I try to suppress the thoughts or feelings, the more they bubble up.
And so now I feel a grey cloud starting to descend over me and I find myself sitting and staring, lost in my thoughts.
Even Bryan has noticed, often asking "Are you okay? you were just spaced out there for a little while..."
So I don't think this is the correct medication either.
I have an appointment this afternoon with my doctor and we will be having a long conversation, because this is no good, and frankly, I don't have time for these shenanigans.

Hair that defies explanation...

...and gravity...and water and baby oil and lotion...

Another admission

Okay, I admit it, I am now a fan of "Dancing with the Stars." I've been fervently against it in years past, calling it stupid and total frivolity, but this year, I am totally sucked in.

It all started out innocently enough, you see, I'm a big fan of Marlee Matlin. She has an Oscar after all, she played "Joey Lucas" on the West Wing (my very favorite show) and of course I see her every week on Evie's sign language videos. So I feel like I know her. And then of course there's the biggest reason I'm a fan of her being on this dancing show, she can't hear the music. That's right sport's fans, the woman is Ballroom Dancing, and SHE CAN'T HEAR THE MUSIC. This to me is absolutely amazing.
So I am now watching the show, and when Marlee comes on, I smile and I cheer and my jaw in on the floor, and I say to Bryan, "how is she doing this? She's soo pretty! And oooh, I do like that pretty blue dress!" (Yes, although you don't believe it, I too can be girly.)

So I cheered for pretty, amazing Marlee, and I agreed with the judges scores, and I liked the other dancers, (but none as much as Marlee, because didn't you know, she's my new BFF.)

And then Kristi Yamaguchi came on. Okay, I do like her too, she does have a gold medal and she is America's Sweethart. What you may not know about me is that I LOOOOVE figure skating. When I was 14, I wrote a letter to Nancy Kerrigan, and you know what? She wrote me back, and sent me a signed picture which hung on my bedroom wall for years. I still have it in a box of all my childhood treasures, just so you know. But I digress.

So Kristi came on and of course she danced flawlessly, and everyone was in awe, but I was not. Because here's my argument, SHE'S A FIGURE SKATER! IT'S THE SAME THING!
Okay, I'm better now. But seriously. I don't think that figure skaters should be allowed to compete and if they do insist on allowing, (let's call a spade a spade) a "ringer" to play, they should be given an automatic handicap like in golf. Or maybe she should have to dance with one arm tied behind her back, or perhaps one leg should be in a brace? Maybe she should have to dance in big clown shoes?
I mean honestly, this show is supposed to be about people who have never danced before in their lives and come on, figure skating is dancing, only on ice.

And now that I have written this, I see that I'm completely ridiculous for even caring, and embarrassed that this is what my life has been diminished to; being incensed about dancing with the stars. This is just plain pathetic.

Please do not judge me for what I just wrote. I do have a functioning brain, if only I could use it for good and not evil.

All I need is my glowing Elf sword

Angela of "Fluid Pudding," wrote today about the nightly mini freak outs she has when getting in to bed. Apparently, she has to fling her legs on to the mattress rather rapidly for fear that Hazel the previous (but now very dead) owner may have taken up residence under the bed and might grab her by the ankles and pull her under.

Now you all might be laughing, and thinking to yourselves, "what a crazy cook!"
But I didn't. Instead I thought, "hm. I do that too. Only, I don't have to jump in the bed quickly, I get in regular like, but once I'm in, no leg or arm can dangle off the mattress, EVER. Because you never know what kind of creature of the night might be living under the mattress that would jump out and grab you.

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, I am an eight year old girl.

Also, while I'm here telling it like it is, truth be told, I'm afraid of the dark; completely. Those of you who know me well, know this to be true. Those of you who just know me casually, well there it is. Stephanie is terrified of the dark. Like a little girl.

I have to have a night light, or light from the hall or the bathroom. I have to be able to see at all times. When camping, I have a mini mag light, a head lamp and a little key chain squeezie light, and still, I never venture out alone. You never know what is out there. It could be bears, it could be lions. OR, it could be Gollum from Lord of the Rings. That's right people, Lord of the Rings, Narnia, all those "fun" family fantasy films? Those aren't fun for me, no, those are public service announcements.

And there you have that.

My name is Stephanie, I'm afraid of the monsters under my bed, and the shadows in the forest.

Bryan stole my camera...

I thought he was just taking pictures of sleeping Evie, so I got the camera set up for him and then continued checking email and going about my business. I would never authorize myself being on camera, but I'm glad he took the liberty.

Evie and the worm

So glad my camera is always at the ready...

The girls were just standing there against the wall, and I quickly started snapping away. So precious.

How to execute a successful lunchtime playdate

Take a moment to collect yourself, look to mommies for direction


Fight over a toy phone, challenge mommies to intervene


Take more toys from each other


Smile at the camera with your very cheesiest smile (or look away indifferently)


Have a little lunch (or look at finger foods with horror, depending on which baby you are)


Call it a successful day by getting a fresh diaper and a nap

A Little Dinner Music

I taught Kyla a little song on the piano this afternoon (notice the curled fingers.) While I was getting ready to make dinner, Kyla was practicing her song, (over and over and over.) After about 30 minutes of the song, I let Evie near the piano, she immediately began reaching up and clinking a few keys herself. I was worried she was going to fall down, so I just brought over her high chair and let her at it. This was the best idea I've ever had, she was thrilled and she and Kyla have been having a blast all evening, creating their own little off-key duets.




Long after Kyla was sick of the piano, Evie was still happy to bang away...this brought a smile to my heart.

Weird Dreams

I don't know if it is because yesterday was Easter or what, but I had some crazy dreams last night; the most strange are explained below.
Last night I dreamed my mother came back, she needed a place to stay for a while until she could figure out what to do. She didn't know where she had been the last two years and could not explain what had happened.
Instead of feeling excited or relieved, I felt annoyed and cheated. Annoyed that she had been gone for two years, cheated that I had watched her die, only to have her not be dead after all. Cheated that I had no mother during my pregnancy. Cheated that I didn't have a mom for Evie's first nine months.

I had finally come to the realization that my mother had died and was never coming back. I had started the long road to recovery, learning how to live without a mother. I had built a new support system with new people to try to help fill the gaping hole. I was doing okay, not great, but okay. And then, suddenly, here she comes crashing back into my life, needing me to take care of her again.

What kind of weird twisted dreaming is this? And wouldn't the proper reaction be elation and happiness?

I woke up somewhere in the middle of this dream, flipped over and went back to sleep.
The next dream involved me getting my fingers chopped off by the lawn mower, not once but twice.
I woke up again, flipped over again, and went back to sleep.

My final dream involved me being the middle car in a 10-car pile up. Still awake, I called Bryan to tell him that I was okay, but couldn't feel my legs. My biggest concern wasn't my legs though, it was who was going to take care of Evie and the neighbor kids that afternoon since I couldn't get home.

Needless to say it was not a restful night's sleep. And it's probably a good thing I'm meeting with a therapist on Friday.

Happy Easter!

Question: Did you get her an Easter Basket?

Answer: No.

Question: Doesn't that make you a Scrooge and a bad sport?

Answer: Perhaps, but here's the deal, she can't eat the candy, (and I don't want to end up eating it) she doesn't need another stuffed animal since she already has more that FAO Schwartz, and she doesn't even know what is going on. We might get her one when she's older, but for now we're saving our money, our waistline and our teeth.

Question: Did you do anything at all?

Answer: Yes! We dressed her in her new dress, we went to church, and we came back home. I also let her play with a bag full of tissue paper; she was thrilled.

Daddy didn't get the memo...

...Kentucky is already out of the tournament


But we can always have hope for next year.

And just so you know, my bracket is currently at 68% thanks to the paltry performances of schools like Duke, Vanderbilt, Georgetown and Clemson, just to name a few.

Boo on them all.

Go ahead, try not to smile...

Sara's Baby Shower

The Tea Party- Nancy put this on complete with tea
sandwiches, strawberries and clotted cream, three different
kinds of tea (one decaf for Sara) & our Great-Grandmother's dishes

(This was a hard place to take pictures, with the big windows and the furniture placement)

Evie is ready to see the presents


Sara looking cute and sassy


Evie loves Sadie's long blond hair


One of my gifts, a homemade taggie blanket complete
with dancing monkeys


Sara makes a haul


The "after-party" Evie plays with the tissue paper
(under strict supervision)

LOST- Recap- Michael Returns

We begin this episode with Locke bringing Miles (from the freighter) in front of the Losties in an effort for "full disclosure." Explaining that there will be no more secrets, he encourages Miles and Ben to reveal what is going on. We learn that the freighter folks are here for Ben (no surprise,) and also that Michael is the man on the boat, which is a little less than welcome news.

With this revelation, we're transported to the freighter where Sayid confronts Michael and demands an explanation as to how he came to be on the boat. Flash back to Michael, alone, depressed in his apartment. He pins a note to his chest, get in his 1970s car and then drives it full-speed into a wall.

Flash forward just a little, and we find Michael in a hospital bed, alive, bruised a bit but fine. He is however very haunted by Libby, one of his victims from the hatch a few seasons ago.

Flash forward just a little bit more, and now out of the hospital Michael goes to his mother's house but isn't allowed in, after requesting to see Walt. We discover that he and Walt aren't talking, and that his mother wants to know where they were these last two months, and that Walt has nightmares and is very, very distressed. Michael leaves with a mission to kill himself once again.

After pawning Jin's watch for a gun and bullets, he tries to off himself in an alley, but the gun jams. On the second attempt, Mr. Friendly appears out of the shadows and informs Michael that no matter how many times he tries, "the island" won't let him die, because he still has work to do; he then tells him they have a job for him. Reluctantly, Michael follows Mr. Friendly back to his hotel to learn about this job.

It is here that we discover that the "discovered" plane at the bottom of the ocean was in fact a fake. It was dropped in a trench with the aid of a freighter. The plane was bought by Widmore, the freighter that transported the plane, payed for by Widmore, (Penny's dad) the bodies on the plane came from a cemetery in Thailand, excavated by Widmore and that Widmore did this so that nobody would look for the real plane, so that he would have full access to the island. Also, Widmore planned on killing everyone on the island.

The job for Michael was to go undercover on the boat as a deckhand and kill everyone on board before they got to the island.

Once on the boat, Michael finds a care package in the form of a bomb, and after a few encounters with the creepy boat people, decides to set it off- this will be his atonement: saving the people on the island in exchange for killing Ana Lucia and Libby.

When he activates the bomb however, a little flag pops up that reads "no yet." Michael then gets a call in the radio room. It's Ben, who tells him there are some innocent people on the boat and he isn't a complete monster, he only wants the bad people to die. During this conversation, we also learn that nobody told Michael to kill Ana Lucia or Libby, that was all Michael.

Flashback to reality, discovering that Michael is working for Ben is all too troubling for Sayid, who then drags Michael before the captain and exposes him as a traitor and the person who disabled the radio.

Final scene, Ben tells his daughter Alex to go to "the temple" where the rest of the "others" are hiding. He tells her it isn't safe where she is and if people discover she is his daughter, she will suffer. He convinces Rousseau to take her, saying "your mother will protect you." So Rousseau, Alex and boyfriend head off into the jungle. While taking a water break, boyfriend says he doesn't think this is a good idea; suddenly a bullet comes whizzing out of the jungle and kills him. Alex and Rousseau hide behind a tree. Rousseau tells Alex they have to run on the count of three, on three they stand, and another bullet comes whizzing out of the jungle and kills Rousseu. Alex is left, terrified. Suddenly, she stands, hands in the air, and proclaims "I'm Ben's daughter, I'm Ben's daughter!!!"

End of show.

So this is what we know: Michael killed Libby and Ana Lucia on his own, Ben didn't order their murders. Widmore did plant the plane in the tench, just as we suspected. Ben is still bad news, arranging the killing of Alex's boyfriend and Rousseau, and he's still playing the manipulation game (Michael and the bomb) that he is oh so good at.

Also, here's my thought, if they really want to stop Widmore, why blow up the boat? Widmore can just get another boat...you kill Widmore if you want to stop Widmore. But that's just me.

We now have a one-month break from Lost, to which I say bah! Enjoy the reruns, folks.

Where I've been

Last week:
Friday-Sunday- contend with teething baby who has a sinus infection and refuses to sleep.
Monday, Tuesday, baby still not sleeping but has been on antibiotics since Saturday so life resumes as normal.

Oh, and by the way, we moved all the furniture around and now have the jumbotron in the front living room. It's huge, but it makes the back family room kid zone, and the front room adult zone, it is all much more friendly.

Thursday- Frantically cleaning, cooking, packing and organizing all while taking care of kids with an out of town husband and an incoming overnight guest (my father.)

Friday- Breakfast, pack the car, go to REI with Dad, meet with now back-in-town husband for lunch, leave for Wenatchee with Baby.

Saturday- Throw Baby shower in Wenatchee for sister with Nancy.


This week:
Sunday- Go to church, pack car, drive back to Gig Harbor with Evie and Nancy

Monday- Shop all day with Nancy and Evie, trying to find a few new items that fit, including a new bra. ***TMI Alert!!!*** I now measure a 34-I in case you wanted to know, and oh by the way, that's a special order item, even at the special "big girls" boutique that is only open four days a week, six hours a day. This was the low point.


Tuesday & Wednesday- substitute teach for my former mentor teacher, in the class I student taught two years ago. As an added bonus, get called to teach 7th grade math on Wednesday at the very last minute. Have really no issues, except once, while teaching, I nearly lose an eye from a flying pen cap right before the bell rings. Also, I confiscate a mouse key ring after boys remove all the innards, and sprinkle them all over the floor while we're watching the news. When I go back and see what they are doing, I stupidly ask "what is this all over the floor?" and the pen cap thrower from the day before replies "I believe those are called silicone gel pellets, ma'am."

"Yes, thank you. You will now be staying after the bell rings and cleaning all the gel pellets up off the floor."

Every night, come home and collapse on the couch and wonder in awe at the women who work full time and come home to take care of their children.

Today- Nancy goes back home this morning, back to the regular schedule. Feeling sick from the new meds, thinking I'm going to have a light day and try to rest as much as possible until I pick up the kids at 3:00. Get a call at 10:45 from my neighbor,
"By the way, today is a half day, I just wanted to make sure you knew." CRAP.
Pick up Kyla at 12:20, entertain her the rest of the day. Thank goodness we had a blue box of mac & cheese in the pantry left over from my wheat-eating days. Grab some frozen chicken fingers, throw them in the microwave (we bought these last week when the kids were spending late nights with us and two nights in a row I made dinner and they left their plates full of food.) Throw the chicken and the mac & cheese on a plate, pour her a half glass of milk (lest she not finish it, again) and call it lunch...mustard is a vegetable, right?

And that's today. Right now, Evie is in her crib, groaning, Kyla is riding around the living room on Evie's push car toy, Haley is reading, and I'm ready for a beverage. Only one more hour.

I'll have pictures from the baby shower on here sometime in the next 24 hours.

LOST Recap- Some Sad, Sad News

Well folks this one has to be short, I'm flying solo tonight, we didn't sleep at all last night, and I'm and headed over the mountains tomorrow for my sister's baby shower, so really, not a lot of brain power or time to recap.

Like I said, this is going to be REALLY, REALLY quick:

What we discover:
Sun is the last of the "Oceanic 6; she gives birth to a (3-month old) girl and confuses us all, calling out Jin's name. During the entire labor scene, we see Jin running around frantically with a giant panda, we assume trying to get to the hospital. When he arrives at the hospital, he delivers the panda for his boss and tells the nurse he's only been married for two months. WHAT?!?!

It is then we realize that we are seeing Jin in a flashback, while seeing Sun in a flash-forward...very confusing.

This sets us up for the very sad revelation that Jin died. Very sad indeed. How he died, we have yet to discover.

The other news we learn tonight? Michael is in fact the guy on the boat. I think we all saw this coming. Where is Walt? On the island? On the boat? Who knows?

Other discoveries tonight were that the folks on the boat are all going a little nutty, the captain seems to be a straight shooter, but Michael says he's not to be trusted.

I have to go

Ummm....yeah

Evie just open-hand slapped her plush blue cow across the face, and then pushed it away.
She then pulled back, looked at it with concern and shook her head "no," very vigorously.

This is the face I received when I told her "no."

She then shook her head "no" at me.

Well, she certainly is determined

What I know today

1) Gluten Free, high fiber muffins made with shredded carrots, orange juice, bean flour and crunched up puffins cereal are addictive and delicious. However, no amount of no-stick spray will keep them from sticking to the pan, even if you use paper muffin pan liner thingies (and spray them too,) as the directions tell you to do

2) Putting the iPod dock on top of the piano will make the music sound 10 times better, and of course, it will amplify. Why I didn't do this before is unknown; I already put the clock up there to make the clock sound better.

3) Van Morrison is awesome. How is it that I only discovered him last night? (Ok, I knew his songs, I just didn't "know" those were Van Morrison songs per se.)

4) My kitchen still smells, although we think we have determined the odor is coming from the biggest, most central pipe under the sink. The seal is broken and seems to have been applied in a shoddy fashion in the first place, as most things were done by the previous home owners. The solution to this problem remains unknown however.

5) I still have no medication for my addled brain, my doctor told me she was calling in a new prescription yesterday at 4:45 pm. As of 10:00am this morning, the pharmacist had no prescription to fill. My pharmacist said he would call the doctor again for me (since I had already called twice,) and see if he couldn't get things moving.

5) James Blunt apparently has an "explicit" version and a "clean" version to "Your Beautiful," and I apparently downloaded the explicit version many years ago. I never heard the foul language, but now that I have mom ears on and he just sang the F-bomb amplified through my piano, I am going to have to go take that song off my iPod lest my daughter starts singing profane lyrics at chuch.

Pure Drivel

1) When your house smells like something has died below, and yet the pest control people and the septic people all insist everything is fine, you bake bread. The smell of baked bread will mask the funk.

2) I went to the doctor yesterday after feeling like a prepubescent teen for the last month or so. It seems I am suffering from anxiety again (or still,) and perhaps also postpartum depression. They now want me on a full-blown anti-depressant/anti-anxiety medication every day for a while. Of course, the medicine they have prescribed is so expensive, my insurance company doesn't want to cover it.

You know, I always find it best when an insurance company overrules the medical decision of the doctor, especially when it comes to the mental and emotional health of a young mother; there's a good idea.

3) Also, my doctor has referred me to a shrink. It seems after three miscarriages, the loss of my mother and the birth of my daughter (which has resulted in postpartum depression/anxiety issues,) I'm due for some couch time. This is probably not the worst idea ever.

4) The dogs are spending more and more time in the garage/back yard, and yet the dog hair continues to permeate my life.

5) I have a carpet cleaning company coming out today (sometime) to deep clean the couch that Portia has made her own in the night while we are asleep and unaware. Once the couch is clean, we are moving furniture around to try to make our rooms more baby friendly. Dog privileges indoors will be limited; my evil plan is almost complete.

To add serious insult to injury

There is a funky smell wafting from below our kitchen sink. We've had this problem before and we called the rodent people out in January to ensure there weren't any critters lying dead below. They told us there was nothing underneath. The smell has come back and is worse. I have cleaned out under the sink, bleached the cabinet, poured hot boiling water and bleach down the sink, and the funk remains. Our septic system monitor says that it isn't backing up.
We aren't really sure what to do now, but the house smells and my crankiness is hitting a new level.

My head may be dented...

...from all the self-inflicted bashing against the wall.

The screaming continues. We went to urgent care today to ensure there was no ear infection to cause such chaos; her ears are fine. She does have what looks like a minor sinus infection, again. So we started up the antibiotics, again. She was fine and friendly at the doctor's office, charming the socks off of everyone. She wasn't running a fever. The doctor did not feel that she looked like she was really in pain, and that this is instead a combination of factors: teething, sinus infection, and perhaps mostly, an 8 month-old flexing her might.

She doesn't want to be held, she doesn't want to be put down. She screams. And she screams some more. And I bash my head into the wall, or at least I imagine bashing my head into the wall.

It's enough to drive a person to drink.

A difficult day a cranky woman makes

Evie staged another coup yesterday. She's been teething, and has a little upper respiratory cold, so I'd like to give her the benefit of the doubt and say she just didn't feel well, but the truth of the matter is, she just didn't want to go to bed.

Yesterday, Evie had been awake from 7:30am until 1:00pm. This means she just blew through her first nap and was heading toward missing her second. All morning she was screaming, whining and generally being difficult. We tried holding her, she would arch her back and push off like she wanted to be put down. We put her down, she would scream. We tried feeding her, she pushed the bottle away, we checked her diaper, nothing. This had been going on all the live-long day.

At 9:30, I got a call that my computer was finally repaired and ready for pick up at the Apple Store, (an hour away, where we've been three times in the last month for the same problem.) Around 11:00am we decided that since Evie was screaming inconsolably, and was absolutely refusing to nap, the best thing was to go for a drive, because she would most definitely fall asleep in the car. As my computer was waiting, that drive would be to the Apple store; hopefully she would be a much kinder-gentler person at the other end of the drive. If not, at least I'd get my computer back, and she'd get an hour of sleep on the way.

Bryan got in the shower, I got her dressed and ready to go. As I was getting her coat on and the diaper bag ready, Bryan came downstairs, dressed, and informed me that he had some work he had to do first before we could leave.

I was less than pleased, and expressed my displeasure in a less than kindly manner. While he was getting ready (to leave, or so I thought) I had been walking the floor with a screaming, kvetching, wriggling baby, talking to my cousin on the phone. We were both discussing how many more minutes had to pass until we'd be ready to go and I could put Evie in the car where she would (hopefully) finally sleep.

Bryan assured me he only needed a few minutes to "run a report to send to his boss." I'm sure I said something about it being Saturday and it being 1:00pm, and why wasn't this done earlier etc. He argued that he had been busy entertaining the screaming baby, and that a trip to the Apple store was not in his plan. It was not a friendly or pretty moment here at the Scott house.

All the while, Evie continued to scream, and arch her back. Bryan took Evie and put her in her crib, saying she could just scream up there for a few minutes since I looked fried. He started working, I made a loaf of bread in the bread maker for a friend, and the screaming upstairs subsided; she had finally fallen asleep. This was great, except for the fact that by the time he was finished working and we got in the car (3:00pm by the way,) she was awake and totally happy. No long nap in the car for us.

We went to the Apple Store, got my computer, walked around with our very happy and adorable baby, and then met with some friends who live nearby. It was around 5:30 and we decided to do dinner together. She and I stayed with happy Evie and sent the men-folk to procure food.

We however failed in our direction. We told them we were starving, we told them it was almost 6:00pm, and that we had a time crunch because we had a baby that would need to be returned to her home and bed. Somehow this did not translate, because the guys did not return until 7:15- with groceries, not food. We were less than thrilled. We were beyond hungry and beyond friendly, Evie was bored and tired. The men-folk were annoyed that we weren't lavishing accolades on them for being so chivalrous and bringing home food to then cook for us. We couldn't understand 1) why they didn't just pick up take-out as we had suggested, and 2) how they took over an hour to buy groceries that would take another hour to cook, and how they couldn't understand why this would be a problem for us.
They couldn't understand how we could be so rude and ungrateful as to be annoyed with them who had gone to the store, bought the food and brought it back to cook.

It was such a typical male-female miscommunication. Everyone was cranky, and everyone was hungry; I fear I may have been the crankiest. Meanwhile, Evie was trying to get to the outlets, unplug their router and eat the coffee table. We had a few toys for her, but those were of no interest.

We finally ate around 8:00pm, which was a lovely meal of braised steak with cheesy potatoes, broccoli and salad. It was delicious, I must say. We were just cranky, and by we, I mean, mostly me. Sadly, we had to eat and run because at this point, Evie was falling over herself in exhaustion. Once we got her in the car, she was asleep in about two minutes. We had big plans of just carrying her in the house and putting her straight to bed, but when we got home, guess who was wide-awake? That's right, Napoleon struck again.

We let her stay up a while, knowing her schedule was all messed up. We put her in her jammies, we gave her a bottle, but she didn't want it. After an hour of her shenanigans, we put her to bed. She screamed; sounding very much like she was being stabbed by an intruder. We let her cry for about 10 minutes, hoping she'd settle down, she only geared up more. We went and brought her to our bed. We held her, she didn't want to be held. We tried giving her a bottle, she didn't want a bottle. We checked her temp., no fever. She just wouldn't stop crying. We put some orajel on her teeth, thinking her teeth were bothering her. We put her down on the bed, she was happy. She crawled around, cooing and jumping around. We took her back to her bed, she screamed. We let her cry anyway, because it was late, very late.

We walked the floor with her, we rocked her, we would put her back in bed and let her cry up to 30-45 minutes, and the screaming would only get worse and worse, but she'd take little intermissions, and so we'd think, "finally, she's getting tired." But nope, she was just gathering her strength for a stronger storm.

We even turned on her light, gave her toys and said "you don't have to sleep, but you do have to stay here."

That worked for about 10 minutes, and then the screaming began again.

At one point around 1:30am, we were in her nursery. I was sitting in the rocking chair with my head in my hands, Bryan was leaning over the crib, we were both trying to convince her to settle down. she was screaming at the top of her lungs, her voice was going horse. We were exhausted, we were frustrated, I was on the verge of tears.
I looked at him and said "it's on nights like this that babies get abused..." He looked at me in horror; it was obvious that I had to clarify.
"You know how desperate we are feeling right now? How tired?" He nodded.
"It is when people are ill-equipped, and have no self-control, they lose it around this time of night, this is when people hurt their babies, in this moment of desperation..."
He then understood what I was saying, and we felt a moment of relief to have each other for support.

Finally at 2:30, we gave her a warm bath, changed her completely just for the principle of the matter, gave her a fresh bottle and put her back to bed. She finally fell asleep around 3:00am.

Needless to say, we did not make it to church this morning and we are both very cranky.

The end.

LOST Recap- Juliette comes to the rescue

This week we follow the sordid path of obsession that led Ben to keep Juliette his personal prisoner on the island.
Flashback to Juliette on the island pre-crash. We discover that the “others” had a therapist on the island. As Juliette explains, “it’s very stressful being an other.” The only problem was, that the therapist Harper happened to be married to Goodwyn, who just happened to be shtuping Juliette on the side. We then learn that Harper warned Juliette to stop her extra-curricular activities with Goodwyn, for fear that Ben would harm Goodwyn. Flashback to the plane crash, and Ben sending Goodwyn to infiltrate the survivors after the crash. As you may or may not remember, Goodwyn took a spear in the chest (compliments of Ana Lucia) in season two.

Back in present-time (sort of.) We discover that Dan and Charlotte (folks from the helicopter) have run off, but we aren't really sure why. Jack, Sun, Jin and Juliette split up into the forest to chase after them.
Juliette suddenly finds herself in the forest, surrounded by the infamous whispers. Suddenly Harper appears out of thin air and tells Juliette that Dan and Charlotte are going to the main power station where they will release poison gas and kill everybody. Ben needs Juliette to go to the station and stop them. "How?" Juliette asks. "With your gun," Harper responds.
Jack comes upon them and Harper tells Jack to take his gun and help Juliette.
Then, Harper disappears, amidst the mysterious whispers once again.

Kate happens upon Dan and Charlotte and finds them armed with guns and gas masks, only to be hit over the head and knocked unconscious by Charlotte.

Meanwhile, back on the ranch, Ben convinces Locke to let him out of the basement so he can show him something.” That something is surveillance footage of a man killing one of Ben’s followers in an alleyway. Who is the man? Why his last name is Widmore- as in Penny- as in Desmond’s girlfriend. That’s right, Penny’s dad, the guy who we saw buying up auctioned artifacts from the island last week? It turns out it’s his boat off the coast of the island; it’s his helicopter, and it’s his money funding the people who are now on the island.
With this new revelation, Locke agrees to let Ben out of his cell, under an agreement that he will stay close by, Ben gives Locke a file on everything he has gathered on Widmore thus far…or at least all he’s gathered that he’s willing to share. Locke then asks who is the guy on the boat, Ben tells Locke he’ll need to “sit down for this…” and then we cut to commercial.

Juliette finally gets to the power station and discovers Dan in full hazmat gear and gas mask, appearing to be releasing the poison gas. When confronted, Dan tells her he’s trying to render the gas inert, or non-toxic, so that it can never hurt anyone. After a scuffle with Charlotte, who explains that Ben has already used the gas against people once and he’ll certainly do it again, Juliette decides against shooting, but waits to see what happens. They in fact were telling the truth.

So we discover that once again, Ben was trying to take people out, how he got word out to Juliette is still a mystery. He is still able to manipulate folks to bend to his evil whim, and perhaps the folks from the chopper aren’t so bad after all.

Of course, as in every week, many questions still remain. What is Widmore’s ultimate plan, and what does he really want with the island? Does he want to exploit it as Ben says, or does he have another goal altogether? Where did Harper come from, and why is it that whenever we hear whispers in the forest, a person appears out of nowhere? We know that Harper wasn’t just a figment of Juliette’s imagination, as Jack saw her and spoke to her as well. Perhaps the whispers are part of a teleporting thing, much like when Desmond was traveling around in time?
Remember, the island isn’t really “an island,” but rather in some kind of parallel dimension, so reality isn’t really reality.
And I think the question everyone wants to know, who is on that stupid boat? My prediction? It’s Locke. I used to think Michael, but now I’m thinking Locke, which is why Ben tells him to sit down. This can be explained by the parallel dimension stuff.

And that’s what I have thus far. I’ll read up on the LOST boards tomorrow and see what else I come up with later, so check back.

A Round of applause, if you please

Make photo slide shows at www.OneTrueMedia.com

My Top 10 Basics- Revised

In Response to Oprah's recent Top 10 Basics show, Susan of "Friday Style," has assigned her readers to post our own Top Ten Basics List based on what we wear on a weekly basis. Not one to balk at directions, I have made my top ten list.
Behold:

Top Ten Wardrobe Essentials (for a 28 year-old stay at home mom in Seattle)

***Everything is machine-washable***
1.) Dark, Wide Leg, mid-rise jean. Currently, it is the Gap Essential cut. I had a gift card, I bought two pair, they were worth every penny.
2.) Button down shirt. Wrinkle-free is an absolute must have.
3.) Fitted Polo shirt- various colors
4.) Lightweight, long-sleeved cardigan… I have black and brown.
5.) Flat-front, wide leg khakis (Currently in the hunt for some)
6.) Tailored V-neck Tee, various colors and multiples for emergencies.
7.) Black trousers (that can be machine washed, but look like dry-clean only)
8.) Shoes that can be slipped on without hands (mine are Keens)
9.) Black leather, "FM" zip to the knee boots
10.) Lightweight, rain-resistant, fleece-lined jacket

Top 10 Items I wish I had in my wardrobe:
1.) Black, tailored blazer to be worn with jeans
2.) Brown leather jacket
3.) Brown boots
4.) Old-school, (no words) screen-print tees to be worn under above mentioned sport jacket
5.) Black leather belt
6.) Spanx OR Pretty, breathable Chonies that hold in the c-section shelf
7.) V-Neck Sweater
8.) Wrap style tops for ellusive date-night
9.) Little Black Dress
10.) White Adidas Samba Millennium Sneakers

Who knew daddies were so funny...or so exhausting?

Make an on-line slide show at www.OneTrueMedia.com

Thanks for the wedding gift...four years later.

If you are a regular reader of this blog, then you know that we are currently going through stuff, cleaning out closets, purging old unused items and generally trying to pare down. You also know that we are cash poor and are on a spending freeze.
Recently however, we found a pile of gift cards that we never spent; gift cards we received as wedding gifts. Our wedding was nearly four years ago. That means we have had unused money just lying around, that we had forgotten about, for almost four years.
Well, when you are on a spending freeze and you come across unspent gift cards, you become excited and you do what any good American would do: you want to go to the store and spend it immediately!
But then we remembered that we are trying to de-clutter; whatever we procured had to be an asset to our home, not another something that would just take up space.
We had $120 to spend at Williams Sonoma. We discussed possible items we wanted, items we "needed." We drove up to the Seattle store, we walked the floors, we discussed the items again. And then, finally, we agreed and walked over to her, sitting on the shelf in all her shiny, stainless steel glory.

Meet Betty:

She’s my new bread maker.

I have lusted after her for years now, but could never justify the expense.
I was recently diagnosed with a wheat allergy, and this machine has a gluten-free setting, with a whole slew of gluten-free recipes. This means that my lust only grew. But again, we didn't have the money, and I couldn't justify the expense.

But then we found the gift cards, and Bryan agreed that he would love homemade bread, and he would more than likely use it more than me, so we brought her home last night.

And for those of you who think "Breadmaker? Just make it yourself, this thing will just take up space!!! Let me tell you that I have tried and tried, and cannot for the life of me get gluten-free bread to rise here, this close to the water. Also, I used my mom's breadmaker on a daily basis when I took care of her, (it crapped out shortly after she passed away, ironically) so I know we can and will put it to good use.

I love her. I’m baking bread as we speak. And I’ve given her a few gentle pats and whispered sweet nothings in her ear while she has filled my house with the lovely aroma of wholesome baked goodness.

So to you who gave us Williams Sonoma gift cards, and we sent you a thank you card that said something along the lines of "thank you for the gift card, we look forward to putting it to good use..."
We bought a bread maker, a bread maker we have wanted for a little over two years. Thanks!

Still shots of Evie in the swing

No Fear Napoleon

What's more entertaining, the baby in the swing, or the reaction of the enamored parents, completely entertained by the baby in the swing?

Make video montages at www.OneTrueMedia.com

A few more thoughts on LOST

After a few more days of pondering and discussion with friends, I have come up with a few more theories based on the information revealed in the LOST episode last week.

As we know, until Locke blew it up, the "Others" were traveling to and from the island on a submarine, and were not suffering, (as far as we can tell) any Desmod-like side effects. As such, one can only conclude that traveling to and from the island by air is far more risky and dangerous than doing so underwater.

While I still believe that an electrical storm or change in magnetic field is required, I think that the underwater station (where Charlie made contact with Penny and then drowned) had something to do with the ability of the submarine to travel to and from the island, and perhaps such a magnetic change can occur through that station.

It is probably easier to keep a straight heading underwater, which is why the "others" used underwater travel as their main mode of transportation. Either way, getting to and from the island is never an easy process. Recall the flashback episode of Juliette, she was drugged when she entered the submarine on her way to the island; this was probably to help prevent any side effects.

Finally, as we see in the flash-forwards, the members of the "Oceanic 6" (those we know so far) do not seem to be suffering any side effects from their re-entry. This leads me to believe they will travel back underwater. As Ben is also back on the mainland, I believe he will arrange their safe passage, which will be achieved on another submarine.


***Oh wait, I have one more thought...

I predict Sun is not making it off the island alive; remember she's pregnant. And the "powers that be," told us someone will perish soon, as such I think she could also be a contender. If not now, soon.

That's all.

You may now return to your regularly scheduled programming.

"Sisters"

Our neighbor girls; Evie spends every afternoon, Monday-Thursday with these girls and absolutely lights up every time we meet them at the bus stop. (They in turn, light up when they see her.)

Eight Months Old!

Someone needs a nap...