Enough to make you cranky

As we all know, customer service no longer exists. But I am completely convinced that Target is intentionally trying to become the most obnoxious discount store there is, (save of course, the Evil Empire which I refuse to enter.)

Our local Target (also the only store in the area for most things such as toilet paper and detergent) has been rearranging all summer, which means not only is nothing where it should be, but they never have anything in stock. When you dare ask somebody to pull away from their current task of say, moving the diapers from the baby department to the electronics department (seriously,) they look at you with astonished indignation, and respond “I dunno where it is, sorry.” And then they walk away.

It’s a lovely experience and makes shopping much like a scavenger hunt or a chose your own adventure novel.

Last evening I had the pleasure of such an adventure when I needed to run over for a quick item from the baby department, after Evie was in bed. I went at 9pm, they were open until 10pm. After I wandered around like a detective, or perhaps an action hero, making my way though a jungle of debris and hidden clues, I found my item and went to the front, I was in the check-out lane by 9:30, this means they still had 30 minutes for “guests” to enter the doors. Yet only one register was open, even though there was a long line of very tired people standing there. There was also a long line of red shirt, khaki pant wearing people standing around at the front, joking and making plans for their after-work activities. However, none of them opened a new lane, or acknowledged the ever growing serpentine of cranky people filling the front aisle.

The line of people was only made longer and more agitated by the fact that the customer at the actual register was clueless and chose that particular moment, (the moment she arrived at the register,) to allow her two toddlers to select candy from the next aisle over. Their decision was not made easily and thus we had to wait while the children deliberated in one aisle and the mother walked from the register around the end cap, discussed, debated, walked back to the register, told the employee it would just be another moment and then we waited some more. The team of red shirts just stood there and watched the show play out, and yet made no move to open another lane for the rest of us while we stood there, waiting.

I stood, sulking, wanting nothing more than to go home, but having already made the trek on my bad ankle, in my lame boot, walking through the store, hacking through the shelves, not wanting to now give up. Finally, at 9:45, I made it up to the register.

The employee did not speak to me or make eye contact, as had been the case with the people in front of me. She simply grabbed the merchandise with disdain, flung it across the scanner, shoved it in the bag and then barked the price.

I left, passing the growing crowd of loitering employees counting the minutes until the store closed. It really was a testament to fine salesmanship.

Very funny

Watch this, it's hilarious, and non-partisan. Just make sure you don't have small kids around, it makes fun of the current political campaign season and is thus for adult ears only.

Time for Some Campaignin' | Funny Jokes at JibJab

Employed

I got the call this morning, I have been offered (an I accepted) a job as a 7th grade social studies teacher.

The position is half time this year, as my counterpart will be completing his administrative internship; however the position will most likely transition to a full time position next year, which is obviously just perfect for me. I'll be able to transition from being a full-time mommy to a teacher, but instead of going from 0-60, I'll be able to ease my way back in and I'll have a counterpart to work with and share the load for my first "official" year.

I also won't have a full schedule which means I won't have a full schedule of student homework and projects to grade, something I will very much appreciate as I am still yearning to enjoy my daughter's toddler days.

When the principal called, my neighbor and I were chatting in the front yard about whether or not I thought I was going to get the job. I had the phone with me, and so I told her to hang on a second...the principal started the call by stating "thank you for interviewing, we enjoyed meeting you, we had several strong candidates..." my heart sank, I have heard that line before and it always ends with, "and while you were a very strong candidate we decided to chose somebody else..."

Instead he said, "and because you were such a strong candidate, we would like to offer you the position."

I was so excited, I started silently jumping up and down in the front yard. You can imagine what happened next. I was jumping. Up and down. On an uneven surface. that's right sports fans. I have a new injury.

But my new boss doesn't know, because I played it cool. I thanked him, told him I would like to accept the position, he was happy to hear it and told me I would receive my contract and paperwork shortly. We chatted a few more minutes and the conversation ended.

Meanwhile, I was hobbling around like an idiot. My neighbor just looked at me trying to determine what was going on. I told her I got the job, she cheered, we hugged and then I winced.

After several hours of icing and elevation I went to the doctor, who determined I have a serious sprain if not a tear of the tendon; I'm now wearing a boot. I'm supposed to be on crutches, but because of the arm injury, crutches are out of the question. And so I hobble, because I'm cool like that.

At least I have a job, which should come with benefits; we already have insurance but it seems more could be necessary.

Uneventful

It's been a somewhat uneventful day. Evie woke early, as she does most days. Bryan left for work and I slogged downstairs to do my motherly duties, although I was barely awake. We played in the family room, we looked at books; we pulled all the toys out of the toy box, and then put some of them back. This went on for quite a while, the removal and replacement of toys. We (and by we, I mean Evie) danced to music. We watched Elmo.

Finally around 9:45, she was lying on the floor, looking very tired. We've been trying to move her nap schedule to later in the day by keeping her up longer, but I confess I was so exhausted today that as soon as she acted tired and stuck that thumb in her mouth, I went with it. I took her upstairs for her nap, (she happily rolled over and went right to sleep) and then proceeded to take one myself.

I've been exhausted the last two weeks, can't seem to find my energy. That and I'm always cold, wanting to just snuggle under a quilt and take a nap. I thought it was a combination of allergies and asthma, but I've been on the new asthma meds for nearly two weeks and still feel drained. Also, I've felt the need to puke most of the day, every day. At first I thought it was just nerves due to the interviews, but I'm never so nervous that I feel as though I will lose my meal, and that is how I've felt for the past two weeks. And really, never have my allergies rendered me so exhausted and weak.

On Sunday, while hiking, I had serious doubts about my health. I know I am out of shape, but I didn't think it was so dire as this. I walk the Cushman Trail with the church gals weekly and while I don't move as briskly as most of them, I keep up and do just fine; I don't feel dead at the end. Hiking on Sunday however was most difficult and I felt as though I was trying to carry an extra person up that hill.

When I went to Urgent Care two weeks ago, (because of the chest pain and the general feeling of ickyness,) they took a tremendous amount of blood and ran a corresponding number of tests, results were normal; I'm not anemic, I don't have Mono.

I spend my days crawling around on the floor, carrying loads of laundry and a small 19 pound toddler, it's not like I'm training for a marathon, but I'm not sitting on my bum watching TV all day either, and yet I have little to no energy for even the most menial of tasks, I am exhausted by day's end.

And so last night, after feeling pukey, tired and generally weak for two weeks with an out of wack thermostat, I went to Costco and bought a box of tests; you know the kind. The kind with a little fabric wand at one end and a little plastic window at the other.

I made my purchase and I returned home, walked in the house, shot a preemptive glare toward Bryan, and marched upstairs to my bathroom.

I weed, waved the magic wand, and then I sat and waited, saying a very silent and ardent prayer.

The obligatory time passed, and I lifted the stick- only one line. Thanks be to God, crisis averted...my little daily pink pill has done his duty.


I have a 12 month old; I am not ready to do that again. With the nine months of IV drugs, the bed rest and the feeling horrible all day long, every day. I've consulted with my doctor, he agrees that my risk and likelihood that it will happen the same way again is high, if not certain. I want to do it again, but not yet. Not for a few years. Not until I’ve had a little time with just the one child, allowed her to grow and develop on her own. We want to wait until she is old enough to at least somewhat understand what is going on, so her life is not completely destroyed by mommy not feeling well because of the interloper. We're thinking of waiting until she's about three years old.

Anyway, that was the last 24 hours. I still feel tired and sick and I'm freezing. I now blame the asthma medicine; hopefully I will adjust soon. That or my thyroid is wackadoodle and the regular blood test didn't catch it. If things don't regulate by Friday, I'll call my Doc and insist on more tests.

In the meantime, I am still in contention for one teaching job and will hopefully know by week's end if I have an offer. Stress is just a teensy bit high.

Congratulations Auntie Sara!

Sara, Evie's auntie, (my sister) has her own jewelry business and entered the Fire Mountain Gems and Beads 2007 Beading Contest. She was a finalist, and her necklace is now on the website. Check it out!

A family trip to Mt. Rainier

After living here all my childhood and much of my adult life, we drove the hour drive from our house and went to Mt. Rainier for the first time yesterday. My dad was visiting and we thought it only appropriate to do something fun.

We decided we'd go on a nice hike, we picked one that was short, not being in very good shape. The one we picked was allegedly 1 & 3/4 miles long and a very good family hike. We soon learned that a one man's definition of easy is very different than another man's.

First, we hiked through the river bed, and were very happy it was the middle of summer and not the spring:


There were a few tense moments, like this one, where I held my breath:


We hiked and we hiked and we hiked....up, up up.

Evie had the hardest job


Finally we made it to the top.


we were feeling very proud and also very fat at the top of the "leisurely stroll" where we hiked straight up

Of course, I had to shoot some shots of the scenery:






And just so nobody thinks that I got the easy job, I also had a backpack, filled with the food, water and of course my camera, ridiculously heavy tripod etc. I just took it off for pictures since it wasn't very "flattering," if you will.

A quick note to the medical community

When you use words like "small," "tiny," "little," in regards to a needle, we don't believe you and for good reason.

When you use the same words in regards to an electric shock, we don't believe you, for good reason.

You need to learn new adjectives, because lying to us is simply stupid. While we may not have spent 15 years getting our degrees like you have, you need not treat us like we are unable to understand basic vocabulary. We do in fact understand words and can distinguish the difference between shapes and sizes.

I underwent Chinese torture today. I'm not being sarcastic, I'm not being rude. The doctor was from China, he tortured me.

He hooked metal electrodes to my skin and then he sent electric shocks through my body. Sharp, horrible, painful shocks. He had this little black device with two metal prongs on it, one red, one black, it looked very much like a one of those stun devices you see the cops use. He then squirted some jelly on the ends, stuck the prongs on my arm, and started shocking the crap out of me, so that my arm jumped around like a fish. After each shock, he'd register my reaction in the computer and then shock me some more...if my arm didn't respond like he wanted, he'd kick it up and shock me again, several times, turning it up, until my arm finally jumped.

It was all sorts of fun. I recommend it if you are looking for summer activities with the kids.

Then, after that, he said "and now I will put a tiny needle in your muscle."

Excuse me?

"No problem, a very tiny needle."

And it is here that I would like to take another moment to once again point out to the medical community that unless I am sitting there with a seeing-eye dog, I'm not really sure how it is that you think that telling me "no problem, a tiny needle" is going to be productive when only seconds later you pull out the actual spike you will be using.

Do you think I will somehow convince myself that because the "DOCTOR said it's tiny, it must be tiny. My eyes must be deceiving me...? Do you think your medical degree gives you magic powers? I can see! I can decipher shape and size in the dimension of space. So let's all just call a spade a spade, shall we? Thank you.


Anyway, so began the really fun part. He reached in to his magic cupboard of pain and torture and pulled out a large 3" long needle connected to a plastic handle out of which extended a wire--imagine an electronic meat thermometer, with the needle and the wire that you hang outside the oven door, that plugs into the little digital readout? That's about what we're talking about here, only this needle wasn't quite as big in diameter, but about the same length.

The wire he plugged into his computer; the needle was going into me. He then grabbed my arm and told me to flex, once I flexed my arm, he said "okay, here comes needle."

And then plunged the large needle down through the skin, through the muscle into my shoulder. I stared at the ceiling and thought happy thoughts, so to prevent myself from allowing the scream that was building inside to escape. He grabbed my hand, asked me to flex some more, and then he pushed the needle in further, until the plastic handle was all that remained. Then he twisted it a few times, and pulled it out.

This went on for about 30 minutes. Grabbing various parts of my arm and shoving the needle in to it, me flexing, shoving it further in, then twisting it, and removing it again.

My favorite part? When he grabbed my hand and told me to open my hand and extend all my fingers (as if I were going to palm a basketball.) Then he pushed on the very soft tender muscle between my thumb and pointer finger, looked at me and said, "okay, here comes needle, this is going to hurt!"

And let me tell you, ladies and gentlemen, it hurt. It hurt like fire. Fire pouring into my hand, shooting down my fingers and licking up my arm. He pushed harder, turned the needle a bit and then wiggled it a bit for good measure.

I just sat still, staring at the ceiling, congratulating myself for not crying, wincing or screaming.

I also didn't give away any state secrets or launch codes, not that I know any, but it seemed to me like this would be a very effective method to extract said information from a person.

When all was done, I had a great many number of spots bleeding on my arm. He commented "do you take blood thinners?"

"No"

"Well you are really bleeding a lot."

Hmm...could that be because you just stabbed me several times!?!?!?!?!?

Anyway, I do have nerve damage. (I could have told you that WITHOUT THE NEEDLE, but whatever.)

But, he feels that it isn't significant enough for surgery and that I should continue with physical therapy in hopes that eventually it will heal on its own.

Thank you. That was wonderful. I feel better already. Your check is in the mail.

What's goin' on

No longer able to make ends meet on one salary, the time has come for me to rejoin the work force. I have subsequently been submitting applications to various school districts in the area for teaching positions.

In the meantime, we found a very nice, small reputable daycare that had only one available spot left, so we put down a deposit for the fall.

We are now hoping and praying that I will be able to procure employment, I have three interviews this week.

In other news, Bryan finally got in to see a Rheumatologist yesterday for his back, he was diagnosed with Ankylosing Spondylisits (AS) which is a degenerative and painful form of arthritis that causes his vertebre to fuse together. While not life threatening, it can be painful if not managed. He is on new medications and needs to exercise regularly to keep it from progressing.

I go see the neurologist today regarding my arm, which is still a problem. I "failed" physical therapy about two weeks ago as I was not getting better, in fact only worse. Hopefully the neurologist will have some ideas as to how to help with the pain and lack of feeling, strength caused from the nerve damage back in April.

Finally, we took a little trip up to the Urgent Care on Sunday since I was having some chest pain...never a dull moment around here. I had been having strange fluttering sensations in my chest for about a week, along with pressure and general fatigue that had become more and more intense every day. So finally on Sunday we went in just to get checked out.

The fluttering sensation was determined to be "textbook" for atrial fibrillation which is nothing to worry about, although it could put me at a higher risk of stroke when I'm much older (as in, when I'm in my 80s and 90s.) My dad and grandpa both had/have it so I'm in good company. It usually manifests itself when one is under stress (hmmm.)

As for the chest pressure/fatigue that was getting worse and worse? Well that was because I was having some serious problems with my asthma, which I simply forgot I had. I had not been taking any asthma medication since I was pregnant and thought I was "better." Turns out, not so much. I was only getting 80% of my oxygen needed which is why I felt like someone was sitting on my chest and I was so tired all the time.

So now I'm back on asthma medication full time and I have a rescue inhaler.

And that is what we're up to here....it's a very busy week.

More possible photo submissions

This topic, obviously people/kids:

Pure Nonesense

Last night I saw a teaser preview for the new movie "The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor." While I enjoy a wide variety of films, I must admit I do enjoy a good action flick based on pure nonsense and the Mummy franchise is no exception. In fact, we own both the first and second installments in the Mummy series. I love Rachel Weisz, I enjoy looking at Brendan Fraser, I find their witty and silly banter very entertaining. I love that the Mummy movies are similar to the old-fashioned black and white adventure movies, with ridiculous plots, slapstick antics and yet they still have the cool new special effects of all the summer blockbusters.

So when I saw the preview, I became very excited. My excitement soon changed to disappointment, however. Why? Because there will be no Rachel Weisz.
She has bailed from the project reportedly because of script issues.
Have they just cut her role out and moved on? Noooo. They've replaced her with Maria Bello. What?!?

You can't have two movies in a series and then up and replace the main character with a different one in the final installment. Especially when the main character is a very perky, brunette English woman with lots of curves and you replace her with a thin, blond, Italian-American woman who is known for her "attitude."

This would be like replacing Carrie fisher's character, Princess Leah, with Goldie Hawn...it's not going to work.

While I will still rent the film out of pure curiosity, I'm absolutely convinced that it will most likely be garbage.

There is a movie I will be renting that I am convinced will entertain the socks off of me however, Morgan Spurlock's new documentary, "Where in the World is Osama Bin Laden." This my friends, looks absolutely hilarious.

More possible photo submissions

These photos are all possibilities for the "nature" category. If you've been to my house, you've probably seen them hanging.

"Rainy Daisy"


"Tetons"


"Dew Drops"

Paper or Plastic

Still using a plastic bag? Think the cloth bags are a bunch of hype?
Click here.

Step right up, make your pick!

The county fair season is approaching and I'm thinking about entering some photo contests.

There are several categories in each and one can usually enter in up to four categories.

I will be posting several shots in different categories today and tomorrow, please let me know what you think and which (if any) shots should be enlarged and submitted.

Our first category?
Animals:


Tiger, Pt Defiance Zoo


Sloth, Pt. Defiance Zoo


Immature Bald Eagle, Yellowstone


Beluga Whale, Pt. Defiance Zoo

When your escape plan goes all wrong

Bryan was working in his office, I was checking my email, Evie was taking a nap. Suddenly sharp, piercing screams broke through the morning quiet. This wasn't her usual cry, this was panic-stricken wailing. I charged up the stairs, opened the door and found her stuck, half way up the crib, knee firmly wedged half between two railings, arms dangling over the side.

She was stuck, very stuck, and she was freaking out.
I gently said "it's okay, sweetie, hold on, mama's here." But as looked at her knee, wedged, her pajamas creating a tight shim between the wood rails, I wasn't quite sure how this was going be solved. Meanwhile, she continued to wail and squirm. I rubbed her back, I tried wriggling her leg, it wouldn't budge. I called her father up for assistance.

It took us a few minutes, but between moving her pajamas, picking her up, twisting her body one way and gently pulling her leg the other way and then turning her, we were able to free her from her wooden prison.

She of course continued to scream and cry another few minutes for good measure.
The rails left a deep groove in her tiny legs that began to swell, so once we calmed her and changed the poopy diaper, I held her and administered the soft hello kitty ice pack, which seemed to make all things a little brighter. Soon she was walking around chattering away.

We aren't sure if she was actually trying to escape from the crib, or if she got her leg between the rails and then tried to free it, subsequently getting herself more stuck.

What I find interesting is that 20 minutes after the icing and a cursory drink of water, she crawled back up the stairs (with us 6 inches behind) and went back to her room, thumb in mouth, saying "nigh, nigh" wanting to go back to bed. Because, you see, her nap was disturbed.

She is now back in bed, concluding her nap.

A funny one, my daughter is.

Bored

Evie is bored today.
We have had a revolving door of guests for the better part of the last three weeks. Evie’s grandparents flew back to Michigan this morning after having visited for the last eight days.
Her other grandfather, (my dad) will arrive Friday and then her great-grandmother, (the infamous Mamaw) will arrive the first week of August.
While we are busy washing sheets and towels and refilling the cereal and milk supply in what has become the hotel-Scott, Evie is wandering around pondering the loss of her minions. She (I am sure) cannot believe she has been left only her parents; parents who are not nearly as impressed with her every action. Also, we are not nearly as quick to jump at her every whim, which of course she finds most distressing.
Obviously we find her charming and adorable, but you see, we live with her and have lived with her basically her whole life (as in every single minute of every day of her existence.) So while we find, for example, her dropping a sippy cup off the high chair and saying “uh ohh,” cute the first time, we are not willing to retrieve the abandoned cup after the third or tenth intentional drop.
And thus she is bored with us. If she could speak in complete sentences, I believe she would utter something like the following:
“Excuse me, I’m sure you are very lovely people, but if you wouldn’t mind, I’d prefer the other people, the ones who gave me ice cream and smoothies and took me on walks at all hours of the day and night, the ones who answered my every whim. Could you arrange their immediate return? Thank you.”

Congratulations Meemaw!

I just learned this evening that my Grandma Green, aka "Meemaw" recently married Virgil Farmer, without telling anyone until after the event. Virgil was her sister's husband (her sister passed a while ago); they have known each other for over 50 years. Meemaw is 82, Virgil is 86. Both are completely smitten.

Meemaw, I couldn't be happier for you, congratulations to you both!

Her first Birthday party

All day, the weather forecast predicted rain and thunderstorms, but somehow we managed to dodge the bullet and were blessed with beautiful clear skies with full sun and warm breezes.

Evie's grandparents came, our neighbors came and two church friends came....


Evie spent most of the time with her friend Sage,


They were up to all kinds of mischief:



Although Grammy Nancy was pretty hilarious,


Another highlight of the evening was the ball crawl:


Of course the big excitement was the cake: (which deserves a prize for ugliest cake made by a mom...)


Evie wasn't too sure about it


But she LOVED her presents, especially her new purse and included cell phone:



Although this party was mostly about the adults getting together and celebrating and she will have no memory of the event, it was still fun; any excuse for a party is good enough for me.

Happy Birthday Evie!

Today is your first birthday. By most accounts, this is the beginning of your second year, the end of your babyhood, the beginning of toddlerdom.

I know that to you every day has been a long, arduous, tiring struggle as you have learned and mastered each new skill, from lifting your head, to rolling over to your first steps and now, to forming real, actual words. But you see, to me, I blinked and you morphed from a tiny little helpless baby, to a talking, walking, headstrong little girl. Every day is a new adventure with you and most days I’m just trying to keep you healthy and (who are we kidding) alive.

Everybody says that when you become a parent, you experience a love that can only be understood when you are a parent. I thought I knew what they meant before I had you; I had no idea. Getting you here was rough ride and by the time you were born, I was one tired momma. But the second they brought you to me and I saw your little face, all my pain and exhaustion melted away and an overwhelming wave of joy swept over me. I was overcome with love and a voracious desire to keep you safe and protected.

Every morning (even those really early mornings) when I go in to your room to scoop you up out of your crib, I am still overcome. I cannot believe that God gave you to me and that I have the privilege to be your mom and guide you through this world.

This first year has been eye opening and wonderful. I am amazed that you are already celebrating your birthday, but I am so excited to see what the next year has in store.

Happy birthday my sweet love!

A great day to turn 1!

Today was Evie's birthday.

She took some morning calls...


She had a quick ride in the swing...


She went to the park with Papaw and Mamaw Scott...


She used Papaw as her pet...


She ate Mamaw's ice cream...


It was a great day to be one.

Goin' for a walk....