The time has come...

**UPDATE** We're on our way! I'm scheduled to be hooked up at 10am. Pray for me...I'm a little sceeared.***

We went to the doctor today- I'm scheduled for induction tomorrow (Saturday.) We have to call at 6am to make certain they still have "room in the inn," but the plan is that I'll be hooked up at 7am to the Pitocin machine. There is a chance that they'll have a run on the hospital by pregnant women tonight, and I'll have to be rescheduled, so we'll just have to wait and see, but we're trying to stay positive.
Why am I being induced, you ask? (as if you don't already know it's well beyond time) When they took my blood pressure today, it was 190/110. My heart rate was 125. My feet and legs are purple all the time, and you can make handprints on my shins, kind of like a hypercolor t-shirt. I'm still really nauseous, and even though I'm getting an IV bag/day and drain my nalgene bottle full of water several times a day, I'm still a little dehydrated. How anyone can be dehydrated and retain water at the same time is beyond me, but there you go. I'm still only 75% effaced and dillated at 1cm...I'm still having strong consistent contractions, but they aren't making anything progress.
The final push for the induction was the fact that I begged the doctor and offered to bring him chocolate chip cookies if he'd deliver the baby this weekend (he is already on-call.) His response was, "to ease ALL OUR SUFFERING," let's go ahead and deliver. I don't know what suffering he needs to be eased, I'm certain I've been a fabulous patient. :-)
Her technical due-date is Monday (if you go by the first day of my last period,) but if you go by the ultrasound, as well as when she was really...um..."made," she was due last Monday. Either way, she's full term, and I'm serving her eviction papers tonight- Bryan already drew them up.
My aunt Jonna has agreed to take over the blog for me this weekend, once we go in. She'll update it as information becomes available. So check back in to see if we have our baby girl...hopefully by this time next week, we'll be home eating her little fingers and toes.

10 Questions...

So, Shannon over at "Rocks in My Dryer" (http://rocksinmydryer.typepad.com/shannon/) Has started a new game for this Friday...answer the following questions, if you're up for some fun...or at least a mindless time-consuming activity.

1.) Jack Bauer or Sawyer?

Oooh, such a decision. Sawyer is so delicious, but he has some major issues, and I'm trying to make my life less complicated, not more. Jack Bauer is tough, but then, he's always gone, and there is always the risk I may get killed. Both are a little too high-drama for me. Personally, I'm pretty happy with my hubby. Unless, of course, Clark Kent came knocking....nah, I would still stay with B, he's a major catch.

2.) If your life is ever made into a made-for-tv movie, who would play you?

I'd like to think someone like Angelina Jolie would be hired, since my life is just so interesting, and one would need versatility and depth. However I fear the more likely candidate is America Ferrara from Ugly Betty, but she's pretty cute, right?

3.) What are three things are you doing now that, if you knew 20 years ago that you'd be doing them, you would have freaked out?

Since I was only seven and a half, 20 years ago, I'm not really sure I'm quite to the point where I'd horrify my younger self. However I'm not a professional athlete, which was my childhood dream, so I'm pretty sure my younger self would be asking "what happened?" That and the size pants and bra I wear (even when I'm not pregnant) may horrify her.

4.) You have five minutes to pack up and leave. What goes and what stays?

The photo albums and the heirlooms go, everything else is replaceable. (Family members and pets are a given)

5.) Your pincushions are selling around the country like hotcakes at a maple syrup convention. Who is the most important person to buy one and why did they buy it?

The thought that I would even make a pincushion is hilarious. However, if Oprah bought one, then she would talk about it on her "favorite things" show, and I'd be an instant millionaire.

6.) If you could only eat one food for the rest of your life, what would it be?

Peanut Butter and Honey sandwiches.

7.) What's the most nerve-racking "close call" you've ever had?

I dated a guy 5 years my senior in high school for 2 and a half years. When I was approaching the end of my senior year, we started talking about getting married once I graduated. The plan was for me to go to the community college and become some sort of medical tech, and then we'd start having lots and lots of babies. The mere thought of a) being married to him and b) never having gone to college, both scare the begeesis out of me now. I'd be an uneducated stay-at-home mom with a house full of kids, probably living in Spokane. Oui. I'm so glad I dumped his sorry self and lived my life. Had I not, I'd have never met Bryan, and really, the thought of not being married to Bryan scares me more than anything else.

8.) Name five features your ultimate dream house would have.

A big wrap-around porch, hard wood floors throughout (upstairs and down,) a gourmet kitchen, a game room in the basement and central vac- central vac is key to happy living...I long for it now.

9.) Who has been the most influential non-relative in your life?

My college advisor, Dr. Heffernan (now Schindler- yay!). The woman taught me to think in a whole new way, and encouraged me to pursue my interests. We still talk regularly; I love that woman.

10.) What one non-physical feature would you most like to change about yourself?

My propensity to be judgemental and self-righteous...and pretty snarky in the process. I hate this about myself and work daily to make it stop.

And here are a few more I'm adding...
1) Superman or Batman? (I like Superman)
2) If you were somehow forced on to the show Survivor, what one "luxury item" would you bring? (me: a letherman, or bugspray...it's a toss-up)
3) If you could live anywhere in the world, money being no object, where would it be? (Me: Germany)
4) What is your dream occupation? (Me: Photo-journalist for National Geographic)
5) If you were to go on the show, the "Amazing Race," who would be your partner? (I could never go on the show...I'm too pushy, nobody would want to play with me, my husband included; he tells me this every year when a new season begins.)

Works for Me Wednesday- The On-Deck Circle

It's time for another addition of "Works for me Wednesday," as hosted by http://rocksinmydryer.typepad.com/shannon/

Ok, so I hate running out of things when I'm using them. Perhaps it's because I was raised pretty poor, and there were many days when we weren't sure what we'd be eating. Either way, there are certain things we use regularly that I like to keep on hand.
As such, we have created the "On-deck circle," aptly named by my cousin Lora. Staple items that we use all the time (ketchup, peanut butter etc.) we always have a spare. There is a designated place in the pantry where we keep the "on-deck circle." when we run out of the bottle of syrup on Saturday morning, for example, I am at peace knowing that there is a back-up syrup sitting on the on-deck circle. Once the item from the on-deck circle has been put into the rotation, we add it to the grocery list. We never have that crisis in the middle of a meal when we've run out of something, and I always know what I do and don't need at the store. The on-deck circle also works well for basic replenishment. For example, if you take a coke from the fridge, you get another from the garage and replace the one you took. If you take a new roll of toilet paper from the tube and put it on the roll (this in itself is miraculous), when you're done, you go get another roll to put back in the tube.
We have a mini on-deck circle in other parts of the house as well. For example, we always have a back-up pack of TP and paper towels in the garage...when that pack gets opened, we know it's time to buy more, and we never run out of TP...a true crisis. We have an "on-deck-circle in the linen closet with a back-up tube of toothpaste, new toothbrush, deodorant etc. If you take a new tube from the closet, you add toothpaste to the grocery list.
We're still working on things being replenished consistently (like the TP), and there has been an occasion or two when an over-zealous guest has opened an item from the on-deck circle, without checking with us first, leading to a minor snafu where we had two open mustards at the same time, but for the most part, we rarely run out of staple items. And I'm satisfied knowing I will never have to go to the store 10 times a week, because we ran out of ketchup on wednesday, and then I forgot to get toothpaste and we're completely out of that now, and is there enough toilet paper left in the bathroom?

Please don't be offended...I'm just cranky

Ok, it has started...the constant "just calling to check on your progress..." phone calls. My particular favorite are the ones that start out with the statement (sometimes dripping with judgement,) "well we haven't heard anything from you, so we thought we'd call to make sure everything is okay."
Yes, everything is okay- that is why you haven't heard anything. There is nothing to be heard. When we have something to say, we'll say it. We usually don't call you every day to tell you that we have nothing to talk about, what makes this day any different?
Now before you start leaving comments on my blog telling me that "people mean well," and I "need" to understand that folks are just excited, let me say, I get it. I'm all over it...people are excited, people want the baby to be here. I am so thankful to have such a wonderful group of friends and family who are so supportive and loving. This girl is never going to starve for love and affection, and for this, I am grateful.
But, you see, I'm cranky, really cranky, and I'm not afraid to admit it. I've been on bedrest since January, I've been in pre-tem labor with no result for the past two months. I have an IV sticking out of my arm, where it has been sticking out of my arm for the past 5 months. I am still so nauseous that I choke on my stomach contents all the live-long day. If anyone wants the baby to be born, it's me.
So when you call, please don't start the conversation by lecturing me on how I haven't called you. I will call you when there is something to call about. You won't be forgotten. We aren't going to wait until we send out the birth announcements to remember that, "oh crap, we never told anyone the baby was born...oh well, they'll find out soon enough!"
I am not against people calling. I'm bored out of my mind- if you are just up for a chat, feel free. But if the only reason you're calling is to check and see if I magically went into labor, gave birth and forgot to tell you in the past 12 hours, please know that there is a chance that I may unhinge my jaw, reach through the phone and bite off your head. I am not normally such an angry and violent person, but I'm fat, and hot and uncomfortable. And my hormones are raging; I cannot be held accountable for my actions.

Ok, Now my panties are completely in a twist

As most of you know, I graduated from Pepperdine University. My husband did not. He graduated from ACU, which is located in Texas--nowhere near Pepperdine, geographically or ideologically. Or so I thought.
As does every alumnus of Pepperdine, I received the quarterly "Pepperdine People" magazine. You know the one, the magazine the university publishes and distributes to all the Alumni. The one where they highlight all the really smart, successful, famous and rich alumni and faculty so we feel better about the hundreds of dollars a month we send in to pay toward our student loans. Especially when we're not really smart, successful, famous or rich. The one they use to solicit donations to endowment and scholarship funds.
I'm all good with them sending me a magazine. I have no trouble with them highlighting the rich and famous. I even don't mind when they ask me to send them money, on top of my student loan payments. I understand why they do this- not that I'll oblige them, but they're certainly welcome to ask.
What I have a problem with, is the fact that the magazine was addressed to "Mr. and Mrs. Bryan Scott." Never mind the fact that I don't even have a name, I'm just "Mrs. Bryan Scott," but he didn't even attend Pepperdine! Ever! Why is his name on the magazine? Now before all you etiquette snobs post a comment, quoting emily Post, telling me that this is proper form, let me tell you that I don't care, nor do I agree. Emily Post wrote her etiquette book nearly 100 years ago. It's 2007--times have changed. For example, not only am I allowed to go to college regardless of my station in life, I'm also allowed to vote, to own property and make decisions without referring to my husband for approval.
If I'm good enough to earn a degree from the University, and to be solicited for money, I'm good enough to have my own name. Why could they have not sent it to "Mr. and Mrs. Scott?" "Mr. and Mrs. Bryan and Stephanie Scott?" Or Mr. and Mrs. Stephanie Scott--I am, after all, the one who attended the university. How about just "Bryan and Stephanie Scott?" The Mr. and Mrs. is already implied.
Now had the magazine come from ACU, in Texas, and was made out to Bryan, I would have said, well that's Texas, and he is the alumni, so it makes sense that they made it out to him. But Pepperdine is MY Alma Matter. And Pepperdine is located in Southern California...the West, the home of liberal Hollywood! One would think that a graduate would at least earn the right to their own name being placed on the mailing label, regardless of their anatomy.
I am Mrs. Scott...my last name is Scott, I am married. My name is NOT Mrs. Bryan Scott. When I went to the Social Security Office, I did not change it to Mrs. Bryan, I changed it to Scott, Stephanie Scott- class of 2002. Please act accordingly.

The Mysteries continue...

Liver panels came back today and all is okay. They thought I was developing HELLP syndrome, (google it) but the panels say nay. We're going to closely monitor the pain and the swelling in my liver area to see if anything changes. All I know is that it hurts like a *bleep* and I find it most irritating. That and the increased nausea...such a joy.
Baby still remains within me, and she has yet to be named, I'm hoping we'll figure it out when she arrives. I can't imagine her being "baby girl Scott" on the little card...that would just make me sad.
To add serious insult to injury, another woman I know (former co-worker) has given birth early. She wasn't due until the 17th. Of JULY. She had a healthy baby girl yesterday. She is the third woman I know who has given birth in the past three weeks. This does not count the celbrities that are easily popping their kids out, including Julia Roberts. I'm starting to think I'm really not pregnant at all, it's all in my head--I've just become fat, and have some serious gas (which accounts for the movement in my tummy)
Oh, and I have switched back to Degree, and find it most effective, in case you were wondering.

Dr.'s Appointment

I'm still dillated to "one," still 75% effaced. Baby seems to be fine.
I've been having horrible rib pain on one side...or rather, horrible pain on one side that I thought was a damaged rib, what with the human being stretching out within my person. I told my doctor today as I was brought to tears last night due to the pain (and for me to be brought to tears, you gotta know it hurt). He is concerned that what I thought was a bruised or perhaps broken rib is rather a symptom of my liver acting poorly. Also, my skin is a bit yellowish as of late, so I guess this was concerning as well. I had some bloodwork done today to determine what's up with my liver, I should get results by tomorrow I assume.
In other news, on top of the IV and the injections of anti-nausea meds, I'm eating 10-12 Tums/day. I guess this is bad. My doctor was horrified to learn how many tums I've been eating. I didn't know one could eat too many Tums, but aparently, I have been, and was given strict instructions to avoid the Tums. So I'm left to sit and choke on well, you know.
And to add further insult to injury, we stopped at Nordstrom today on the way home so I could get a nursing bra; we were unsuccessful. For those of you who don't know me, I am endowed at a level that most can only imagine. Especially since the pregnancy, the girls have taken on a whole new personality, and the size I am currently (pre-lactation) is found in the middle of the alphabet. As such, there are only about three stores in the world who sell bras in my size, Nordies is one, and happens to be the closest. I am sad to report however, even Nordies doesn't carry my size in stock, they had to special-order it. I have a small torso, but canons out in front, which makes finding a size to accomidate the girls very tough. You know it's bad when the very nice lady who is specially trained to fit bras at Nordstrom looks at you in the dressing room, exhales slowly, and then says "I'm so sorry," before she even begins the fitting. The sheer volume of the girls overwhlemed her. Imagine carrying them around all day. I blame my grandmother mostly...although I suppose it's not really her fault any more than it is mine. Either way, the thought of what is to come once I begin nursing is enough to make me a little crazy. I fear I may not be able to leave the house...I may frighten others.
Finally, I took the "Dove challenge" and switched to their anti-persperant. After two weeks of dilligence, I am sad to report that I am not a fan. Perhaps one is not suppossed to switch in the 9th month of pregnancy, but I'm gonna have to go back to old faithful, Degree. Sure, I may have white marks on my shirts, but at least I won't need to reapply three times a day. Perchance I've shared too much? Oh well, 'tis the truth about life, and I'm not afraid to talk about the real stuff.

Job Interview...

I had a job interview today for a part-time teaching position at the local middle school. I think I did as well as I could (being nine mts pregnant and uncomforatble,) but I left with the feeling that the candidate had probably already been chosen, and the interview was more of a courtesy. We'll see, I could be wrong. Another applicant that I know has been subbing in the school all year, so they should have priority.
And, no even though many of you placed bets, my water did not break, I did not go into labor.
Our weekly Dr.s appointment is tomorrow at 10am, I'm hoping something will stirr my doctor to decide I'm pregnant enough...I'm fairly confident that's not going to happen however. It's nice to dream though.

Works for Me Wednesday- Low Fat Ranch Dressing

I've been reading the blog "Rocks in my Dryer," (http://rocksinmydryer.typepad.com/shannon/) and every Wednesday she posts a "Works for me Wednesday" post with a helpful hint to make life a little easier. I thought I'd join in while I wait for this little baby to finally arrive.

Instead of buying bottled Ranch Dressing at the store, (which is chock-full of chemicals and preservatives and made with mayonnaise,) we purchase the little Hidden Valley Ranch Dressing packets in bulk, (you can get a box of 4 or 5 for the price of a bottle of Ranch). Then, I mix it with a 16oz container of Low Fat Daisy Sour Cream. The packet says to mix it with Mayo, but I find the sour cream is not only better for you (since it's all natural, and not full of fat), but it makes the ranch just a tad lighter. It is pretty thick in this current state, but it makes a great dip. When I want it less thick, or for a salad, I just scoop some out and mix in a little lowfat milk. We store it in a Ziploc "Twist N/ Lock" container and write the expiration date from the sour cream container on a piece of clear tape, and stick it to the side, so we know it's shelf life, but don't ruin the container.
We always have Ranch available, and use it for all sorts of things, including as a condiment on burgers. It's cheaper than the bottle, and we know we aren't loading up on chemicals and extra fat.

Too comfortable...

I started having regular contractions yesterday. By 2pm they were every 10 minutes. By 4pm, they were every 5 minutes. At 6:30 they really started coming on fast...and were every 3 minutes. I drank a bottle of water and layed down on my side, as instructed. At 9:30, the contractions remained every 3 minutes so we called the Labor and Delivery folks. Because I could still walk around and was able to hold on a conversation, I was told I should stay home until things got more intense for me. I took a shower and went to bed, trying to get as much rest as possible. I got zero sleep, but I got some rest.
I'm still having contractions about every 3 minutes. I spoke with my nurse this morning and she agreed that until I can't walk or talk through the contractions, I should stay home and rest.
So I'm not really sure if I'm going to progress, or if I'm just going to have regular contractions for another 2 weeks.

Nope...not yet

Many had predicted the baby would arrive this weekend...she did not. Her due date according to wheel of fortune at the doc's office is July 2. Her due date according to the calculations of her size on the ultrasound machine is June24-28. Either way, we still have a ways to go.
We'll keep you posted if anything exciting happens.

38 Weeks and looking oh, so fabulous

I am officially 38 weeks! Any time she'd like to be born would be just fine with me, but alas she seems comfy.
We went to the Dr. this am for an ultrasound. Baby girl has finally turned herself and "assumed the position," (as of yesterday, she was still upside down and sideways.) I am 75% effaced, but still only dillated to "1," so not much exciting going on as of yet.
Feeling very chubby, and very, very ready to be rid of the IV, and to meet this little girl...she's worn out her welcome within me.
We'll keep the post updated as any changes are made.

A cooking tip from Bryan

Well, actually, most of the things my husband cooks are really quite impressive. (Have you had his Sour Cream Bundt Cake? MMMM) As of late, tacos are my love. I cannot get enough tacos. Earlier in the pregnancy, the thought of a taco made me gasp, but in the last week, all I can think about is tacos. I have to chew on several tums after, but it's soooo worth it.
Bryan has thus obliged and made up batches of taco meat and pre-shredded cheese for me, so that I can have tacos whenever, without him having to cook it all up.
Let me tell you however, he has a magical way of assembling a taco that makes it just more delicious than one could ever imagine. The other night, our friend Carolyn was here for a visit, and she joined me in my taco-fest. She too commented on how good the taco was. Allow me to share his secret...he told me it's okay.
First, you add the sour cream to the bottom of the shell...yes the bottom, not the top...this is of course if you enjoy a little sour cream on your taco. Then, you put a little shredded cheese on top of the sour cream. Then you add the meat (obviously already warm/hot.) If you are one of those people who enjoys veggies or salsa on your taco, you put it on top of the meat. Then you add the rest of the cheese. Then you place the entire assmbled taco in the microwave for a few seconds...(the amount of time varies by your model) The cheese should not be melted, mind you, just soft enough to hold together.
Then you enjoy your taco. The sour cream and cheese and meat are all slightly melted together, so you get all flavors at the same time...never a bite without a flavor. Because you put cheese on bottom and top, it's all softened together, so you aren't dropping half your cheese on the plate. The same goes for your veggies and/or salsa...they are held in by the warmed cheese. And again, I tell you that because of this process, you shouldn't lose half the taco on the plate, you get all your required flavors in every single bite.
Magic my friend, simply magic.

You're definately in labor...oh well, maybe not so much

We made our first trip to Labor and Delivery yesterday.
Saturday night was very tough for me, I was having really strong back pain and could not find a single position that would offer relief. All night the back pain/spasms got worse and then the cramps started up. By 7am they were getting pretty regular. By 9:30 they were every 5 minutes and getting stronger. We went to brunch, me hoping I could be distracted, but but by 12:30 they were really strong, 4 minutes apart and I also noticed I felt like I had wet my pants just a little. So I called the doc who told me it was time to go in. I got there, they hooked me up to the monitors and yes! I was in labor! My contractions were then 3.5 minutes apart, the baby's heartrate was up, and things looked like they were progressing. However when they went to check for dillation, everything came to a screaching halt. "Well, you're obviously doing something, but we're a ways away." Said the lady with her hand in a very sensitive place. She told me to get up, walk around and she'd see me in an hour to check for progress.
An hour came and went, she checked me again and informed me that I'm dillated to about 1, and not progressing nearly fast enough to stay in the hospital...."it could be another hour, it could be two weeks."
So I'm back home. Still contracting, although they finally subsided a bit. Right now I get REALLY strong pressure and pain about every 10-15 minutes, but nothing more.
People are starting to make predictions that she'll be born this week or next. I'm still convinced that she'll be a week late, because well, why not?

I'm not really high maintenance, am I?

We went to the doctor today for our 37-week check up. My doctor determined last time that the baby has positioned herself with her butt down. Today he became concerned that she is still in said position and ordered an ultrasound for next week to see if she's moved yet.
He then said..."if she is still butt down that will cause a whole new load of problems and we'll have to change our plan of action." he then turned to Bryan and asked..."Is she always this high maintenance, or only when pregnant?"
Excuse me Dr., but you can stick it. I know he was kidding, but thou shall not kid a 9 month pregnant woman who has had just about every pregnancy complication possible...we don't think you're funny. And furthermore, I think that I have been quite friendly under the circumstances.
Here's what's really weird...I'm starting to put on a lot of weight, but I can barely eat...my feet and hands however have maintained a lovely shade of purple and my toes look like little sausages, so it's obvious I'm retaining water. The weird thing is that my blood pressure is really low...today is was 100/48. How is it that my bp can drop while I start retaining water? Amazing.

Obviously designed by a man...

...who has never done his own laundry.
At the Scott house we have been suffering from laundry maintenance defficiency disorder, or LMDD as I call it. This disorder has been a major problem especially since I've been out of comission.
Allow me to explain. Our laundry room is downstairs, our bedroom is upstairs. I'm not able to carry laundry up and down the stairs in my current pregnancy state...I'm barely able to get myself up and down. I am however able to fold and put away once said laundry has been transported on my behalf.
Our laundry room is very narrow, and the way the hook-ups are positioned, the dryer has to be in the far corner, but the width of the laundry room is so narrow that when one opens said dryer door, the door is only a few inches off the wall, making it nearly impossible to take laundry out of the dryer. Plus, the dryer only opens one way, unlike many, where the door can be installed opening either way. Ours only opens with the door toward you, so that you have a gate in front of you while you're trying to pull the laundry out. You have to bend over the door, and contort your body to reach around to get to the clothes. As I am 9 months pregnant and a bit shaky on my feet, this is an activity I cannot do.
Our washing machine is one of those super-high capacity washers, which means it's very deep. Due to my short stature, I have to hop up and dive in to pull the clothes out. While pregnant, this is impossible.
My husband, who has been amazing and earned several awards whilst I have been pregnant, still hasn't quite understood that I can't in fact reach the clothes in the washer or dryer, and if only he would please rotate the clothes for me, I will fold them and then put them away after he carrys the basket upstairs. I ask throughout the week...please rotate the laundry for me...but this has proven too taxing...he's a bit overwhelmed as it is.
It doesn't help that the man has more clothes than most hollywod starlettes, so he can go weeks, perchance months without needing to wash his clothes. Plus, he wears suits to work, so much of wardrobe is dry-cleaned. I on the other hand, barely have enough items to get me through the week, especially right now when the only things that fit are sweats and big tshirts...and even they are getting snug. Although I am pretty much house-bound, I do still enjoy being showered daily, with fresh clean clothes to put on. This has been proving increasingly difficult for me however, since as I said, we suffer from LMDD.

Sorry....this is depressing...

I miss my mom. As most of you know, she died of cancer on my 26th birthday...almost two years ago. As I'm approaching the finish line of my pregnancy, I find myself full of questions that only she can answer, but she's not here. I don't know who to be more frustrated with, her or God.
I have been dreaming about her a lot lately, but the dreams are really, really weird. Two nights ago, I dreamt that she and Bryan stood at a white board in one of my college classrooms and made lists of potential baby names, and then argued over the results. I would try to explain why we liked the names we liked, and she would roll her eyes in that funny way my mom used to do and make some crack comment about why that name was ridiculous.
I wake up (from the hour of sleep I ever get at one time) and feel stressed and guilty about decisions or actions I've taken as a parent...even though I haven't even given birth yet. And this whole baby-naming thing is really throwing me for a loop. I keep thinking, "what would my mom think of this name?" And I know that the ones that we agree on are all names she would hate. Why do I care? How unhealthy is it that I'm stressing out about what my dead mother would think about decisions I'm making?
I have a million questions about giving birth, what her labor was like, how I was as a baby etc., and she isn't here to answer them. I've done extensive reading and have asked many other friends and family members about random baby topics, but it's just not the same. She always had a way of making things funny, and putting me at ease when I was stressed out. How I would like for her to be there when I go to the doctor, to crack a joke, to ask questions I forget to ask, and to keep me laughing when the pain starts up. I feel like if only my mom were here, I would somehow feel a little better about what's about to happen. And that's where I am today.

36 weeks and getting out!

**My hands keep going numb and my wrists are in a constant state of discomfort. My nurse called on Thursday to check in and when I informed her of this new phenomenon, she told me that it sounds like I've developed carpal tunnel--I guess lots of preggies enjoy this. So I have now have to wear spiffy grey and pink wrist guards when I'm sleeping, or during the day when my hands start going numb again. I only wear them in the privacy of my own home however. No need to add further insult to injury.

**We went to Costco on Friday...that means me too. I hit 36 weeks Friday, and said "I'm going out!" I was hoping they would have the little scooter things since Costco is a pretty big place to tackle, with few places to sit and rest. Alas, they only had one and it was broken. I almost made it the entire trip, but I had to go use the bathroom three times, two of the three of which were false alarms, but the walking around made me feel like I had to pee pee the whole time. Oh, and then contractions started up again. I was actually hoping they would progress to little missy coming out, but they did not, and I just had to sat in the car while Bryan finished up.

**When waddling around, the pressure and shooting pain "down there" was so strong I felt like I had to hold on to myself to keep everything together. Of course I didn't actually grab ahold for propriety-sake, so I just waddled more while arching my back, hands on my hips or back, trying to stay upright. Most attractive.

**I got an email Friday afternoon from my college-pal Cass, saying she was coming up to Seattle for the weekend and wanted to get together...Saturday morning we had her, her hubby and sis over for breakfast. It was great to see them; we hadn't seen each other since their wedding over a year ago. Bryan made the food as always, although I did attempt at making a coffee cake, but after having to take 5 sit-down breaks while resting my head on the counter, he took over the final step of filling the pan whilst I layed down. So ridiculous.

**I got a second wind Sunday and Bryan had to take some stuff back to the Nordie Rack, so I tagged along. I had to pee pee three times during that adventure too...at least I thought I did until I hauled my fat self out into the mall and down the corridor to the skanky bathroom, only to discover I just THOUGHT I had to pee. So I'd waddle back through the mall and to the line where Bryan was waiting. While there, and after waddling through the mall three times, I decided I needed new shoes. I've been wearing my Reef flip flops, but my feet are now so puffy and purple whenever I stand, that the little toe thingy was cutting off any remaining circulation. I have Crocs, but they're just a bit ugly and hard, so I wanted some slip-on tennies that were cute, soft and squishy and I could easily get on. I ended up with just a regular pair of white Adidas running shoes because everything else was either too tight, or lacked any support whatsoever. They may not be the daintiest shoes ever, but they're soft and squishy, and if I leave the laces loose, I can slide my toesies into them without having to throw my back out trying to secure them to my feet.

National Spelling Bee?

Bryan and I watched the National Spelling Bee last night because well, that's just how we roll. I have one question however. Why is it called the "National" Spelling Bee and yet Canadians were in the finals? Not that I have anything against our northern brethern, I find them fabulous and welcome them to come visit anytime! But they are in a different country after all. It wasn't called the "International" Spelling Bee, or the "North American" Spelling Bee, it was called the "National" Spelling Bee. As such, I take issue with Canadian kids competing in our National Bee. If we're going to include folks from other nations, I'm all for it, but then let's call it something else. But for an event that places all emphasis on proper spelling, should we not also emphasize the proper use of said words?