Enough to make you want to gouge your own eye out

As part of Bryan's severance from Chrysler, he had to give up certain things, including our life insurance.
Having watched too many Lifetime Original movies in my day, I was just sure that the day our life insurance ended, something catastrophic would occur. So I began shopping around for a very cheap, basic life insurance plan for the two of us, (mostly him) just to cover basic expenses, should something horrible ever occur.
After a couple weeks of giving information and receiving quotes, we settled on one small, but long-established company who only insures "safe, low-risk" people. Whatever.

And so began the arduous process of becoming insured. We told them all of our medical issues upfront, and they said it wouldn't be a problem, but we would be called by medical screeners for a 100-question interview in a few days.

I have since determined these so-called screeners are in fact robots, or people working for dark and evil forces, as my "10-15 minute quick questionnaire was enough to make me want to gouge my own eyes out.

After 25 minutes of asking invasive questions about my health including my pregnancies, my miscarriages, every treatment I received during my pregnancies, dosages etc., I had the following "conversation:"

Automated-sounding Screener (A-S-S-): "Ma'am, in the last 10 years, other than the things we have already discussed in this interview (migraine, anxiety, pregnancy complications,) have you ever been treated?"

Me: "What do you mean, treated? Treated for what?"

A-S-S: "Have you ever been TREATED?"

Me: "TREATED for what?!?" Anything?

A-S-S: "Yes."

Me: "Probably."

A-S-S: Ma'am, is that a yes?"

Me: "Sure."

A-S-S: "Ma'am, is that a yes?"

Me: "Yes, in the past 10 years, I have been treated for something."

A-S-S: "Ma'am, for what, and when have you been treated?"

Me: "I don't know, I've had a few sinus infections, probably a couple UTI's, maybe bronchitis. I really cannot remember."

A-S-S: "Ma'am, can you tell me when you were first treated for a UTI?"

Me: "NO."

A-S-S: "You cannot tell me when you were treated for a UTI?"

Me: "I cannot remember, I know I have most likely had one or two in the last 10 years, but I am also sure I cannot remember when, or for how long."

A-S-S: "Ma'am, can you tell me when you were treated for sinus infection?"

Me: "Every one?"

A-S-S: "Yes."

Me: "No. But I'm sure my doctor could tell you. I know I had one this summer, sometime around July-ish. Can't really be sure when. I don't know the dates for things like UTI's and sinus infections, but I'm sure my doctor has all of this information on file at her office.

A-S-S: "And what is the name of the doctor who would have this information?"

Me: "The same as all the previous questions- Dr. happy-feel good." She works as such and such office, and I don't have her phone number with me as I am not at home."

A-S-S: "And what is the address for the location for that doctor?"

Me: "As I just said, I don't have her phone number or address with me, I am not at home, you called me at school.

A-S-S: "And what is the phone number for that doctor?"

Me: (heavy sigh) I still do not have her phone number, I apologize. Again.

This conversation continued for another 5-10 minutes until he was done running down his list of questions, and then he said he was done and hung up. That was it.

Bryan is on the phone now...but his is going much quicker because he somehow got a human not a robot who doesn't ask the same questions a thousand times.

I get to have a face-to-face interview with an RN who will come and draw blood next. Good times.