Things I never thought I would say…10 thousand times a day

“Please sit on your BOTTOM.” (when she’s using the couch as a trampoline)

“No, those are MOMMY's Glasses”

“Please keep your hand out of the dog.” (Eye, mouth, ear, bum—dog in general usually works)

“Oooh, icky, let’s not pick our nose.”

“No hands please,” (while I’m wiping during a diaper change)

“Can I have mommy’s…(wallet, cell phone, glasses)….back please?”

“Hi." (I am “greeted with “hi” about every 20 minutes, with a vigorous wave.)

And my favorite:

“Oh, no thank you, let mommy flush.” (usually while I am still using the toilet)