Uneventful

It's been a somewhat uneventful day. Evie woke early, as she does most days. Bryan left for work and I slogged downstairs to do my motherly duties, although I was barely awake. We played in the family room, we looked at books; we pulled all the toys out of the toy box, and then put some of them back. This went on for quite a while, the removal and replacement of toys. We (and by we, I mean Evie) danced to music. We watched Elmo.

Finally around 9:45, she was lying on the floor, looking very tired. We've been trying to move her nap schedule to later in the day by keeping her up longer, but I confess I was so exhausted today that as soon as she acted tired and stuck that thumb in her mouth, I went with it. I took her upstairs for her nap, (she happily rolled over and went right to sleep) and then proceeded to take one myself.

I've been exhausted the last two weeks, can't seem to find my energy. That and I'm always cold, wanting to just snuggle under a quilt and take a nap. I thought it was a combination of allergies and asthma, but I've been on the new asthma meds for nearly two weeks and still feel drained. Also, I've felt the need to puke most of the day, every day. At first I thought it was just nerves due to the interviews, but I'm never so nervous that I feel as though I will lose my meal, and that is how I've felt for the past two weeks. And really, never have my allergies rendered me so exhausted and weak.

On Sunday, while hiking, I had serious doubts about my health. I know I am out of shape, but I didn't think it was so dire as this. I walk the Cushman Trail with the church gals weekly and while I don't move as briskly as most of them, I keep up and do just fine; I don't feel dead at the end. Hiking on Sunday however was most difficult and I felt as though I was trying to carry an extra person up that hill.

When I went to Urgent Care two weeks ago, (because of the chest pain and the general feeling of ickyness,) they took a tremendous amount of blood and ran a corresponding number of tests, results were normal; I'm not anemic, I don't have Mono.

I spend my days crawling around on the floor, carrying loads of laundry and a small 19 pound toddler, it's not like I'm training for a marathon, but I'm not sitting on my bum watching TV all day either, and yet I have little to no energy for even the most menial of tasks, I am exhausted by day's end.

And so last night, after feeling pukey, tired and generally weak for two weeks with an out of wack thermostat, I went to Costco and bought a box of tests; you know the kind. The kind with a little fabric wand at one end and a little plastic window at the other.

I made my purchase and I returned home, walked in the house, shot a preemptive glare toward Bryan, and marched upstairs to my bathroom.

I weed, waved the magic wand, and then I sat and waited, saying a very silent and ardent prayer.

The obligatory time passed, and I lifted the stick- only one line. Thanks be to God, crisis averted...my little daily pink pill has done his duty.


I have a 12 month old; I am not ready to do that again. With the nine months of IV drugs, the bed rest and the feeling horrible all day long, every day. I've consulted with my doctor, he agrees that my risk and likelihood that it will happen the same way again is high, if not certain. I want to do it again, but not yet. Not for a few years. Not until I’ve had a little time with just the one child, allowed her to grow and develop on her own. We want to wait until she is old enough to at least somewhat understand what is going on, so her life is not completely destroyed by mommy not feeling well because of the interloper. We're thinking of waiting until she's about three years old.

Anyway, that was the last 24 hours. I still feel tired and sick and I'm freezing. I now blame the asthma medicine; hopefully I will adjust soon. That or my thyroid is wackadoodle and the regular blood test didn't catch it. If things don't regulate by Friday, I'll call my Doc and insist on more tests.

In the meantime, I am still in contention for one teaching job and will hopefully know by week's end if I have an offer. Stress is just a teensy bit high.