Feeling better...sort of

So the sickness seems to have passed. I'm still completely worn out, but I assume it has something more to do with the fact that 5 weeks ago I had a c-section, and have since been caring for and providing the sole nutrition for a very beautiful, small and yet very powerful tyrant we call our daughter.
Bryan is currently at the doctor, his back is hurting so much that he literally crawled to bed last night. I felt so very bad for him, but unable to offer any physical help. I was able to offer pain meds however, which he gladly took and then passed out for the duration of the evening, leaving me to be the sole night-time caregiver and diaper changer.
He's able to walk today, but still in a lot of pain. I offered to drive him to the doctor, but he wanted to go himself. I'm babysitting our neighbor girls today, and the thought of loading up the three kids and marching into the doctor's office was a bit much for him, so he chose to fly solo.
Evie is beautiful, even though her little face is now dotted with a constellation of baby zits. I so badly want to scratch off the little white heads, but know that will only end in tears, so I resist.
She has learned to hug now. When you hold her against your chest, she wraps her little arm around your shoulder and gingerly caresses you with her tiny little fingers. There is really nothing more adorable than watching Bryan hold her against his chest, and seeing her snuggle in under his chin, and wrapping her arms around him...well across him, rather.
Her neck strength has become frightening, as she can now do a full push-up off of you, lifting her head and scanning the perimeter. Next, she'll probably be climbing the cabinets and writing letters to her senator.

Finally, I have decided that I'm far too fragile currently to be in or around nature. (and if you don't like sad animal stories, do not read any further)
We had a tragedy last night here at the Scott house. Well, it felt like a tragedy...and I remain traumatized. We were enjoying a lovely spaghetti dinner on the deck with our neighbors, when Portia started acting very concerned, and started gently but purposefully nosing around the grass. I looked over to find her carrying what looked like a mouse from the scruff of it's neck. She layed it in the grass below me and started gently nosing and licking it, as if it were her puppy. It turns out, it was a baby bunny. Brand-new, abandoned, and injured. Portia was really concerned, and protective, but I couldn't determine if she was being motherly, or a carnivore. Bryan couldn't walk, so I had the gruesome task of doing something with the baby. It was too small to be saved, this I knew from my days on the farm. I couldn't bear to kill it (which in fact would have been more humane) so I gently moved it to the brush on the other side of our fence. I then went to the bathroom and silently sobbed for a solid 5 minutes, only to hear from the backyard, that Portia had just brought another one to the deck. Our neighbor Mick took over at this point and brought it to the same place I had layed the other.
I remained in the house, clutching my new baby, who had aroused in all the commotion. No new mother should be tasked with taking care of the cruel reality of nature...especially when it involves the abadonment of a newborn creature.
I know that in the broad spectrum of the world, this is really minor, and for a girl who was raised on a farm, one would think I'd be a little more resiliant. Holding my newborn daughter however, I found myself very upset. I find that with motherhood, I have become more sensitive to any stories that involve the death or injury to a child, human or not.