Sooo..whatever happened to Stephanie's brain?

Apparently, I have been slacking off in the blog department, especially in regards to updates on my brain.

Here is the very speedy update, as I have little patience to write any more about it.

I went to the doctor three weeks ago, I guess it was. Huh, that was fast.

Anyway, yes, three weeks ago. I finally saw the specialist, the magnificent specialist who I was told would be wonderful and magical and the "female Dr. House."
"She will find out what is wrong with you," they told me.

And so I believed them and I went, and I talked. She asked a litany of questions and sat there with a very concerned and interested face. She quizzed me on the history of my "seizures," how they start, what they feel like, when they happen etc.

I explained they have only happened in accompaniment of a change in hormone levels (miscarriage, birth, change in birth control etc.)

She then asked what they looked like, at which point my girlfriend Anna took over, who was there that fateful day when I "died" in the ambulance. She gave the full run-down, describing at length what I looked like, the sounds, the thrashing etc. It was unpleasant and embarrassing for all of us, but it had to be done.

We spoke for about 15-20 minutes, then she began to explain, very calmly how an EEG works, and how I had a "seizure" while having an EEG and nothing showed up, which meant I am not epileptic. She then gave me a very long speech about the brain and how even the best neurosurgeons only know 20% of what the brain can do, yada yada, and basically, what it comes down to is "they don't know."

The theory is: hormone changes+stress= wicked migraine. Wicked migraine= Stephanie has a non-epileptic seizure. Apparently some people in horrendous pain can, at times, have seizure-like activity as the body's way to release the pain. Who knew?

So, I continue taking the mega doses of migraine/anti-convulsing meds. I can't feel my hands, because, well that's a side effect of the migraine medication. Yippee.

As for the "non-epileptic seizures," well, I have something now I can take that "should" stop them. Also, I need to be aware when I have hormone changes, and major stress in my life.

Thanks for the tip, Doc.

And that's what is up with me. I am now driving again, huzzah, and other than tingling legs and hands, I feel fine.

Someone get this boy a medal...

You know there are moments in every teacher's life when you really want to just smack a kid upside the head. Then there are moments when you want to hug them. Other times, you are astounded, not by their brilliance, but really, truly astounded by what they said or wrote, and cannot believe they had the audacity to do it.

Tonight, that happened and it's just too funny not to share.

I had students self-rate their final papers.

One student, (who is really "miffed" he earned an A- on his last paper,) had the following responses on his self-assessment: (I have included all punctuation and spelling as he wrote it, for full effect.)

Content: "My Content is flawless. I have 3 main ideas that Work in Unison. Better than other peoples Paper's ideas."

Organization: "I used perfect arguments. Other people's are awkward or choppy mine flow perfectly with each other."

Style: "My writting/ideas are the best in the class. Other people's paper lack high quality writting, but still get better grades somehoW.

Conventions: "There are No Spelling or misplaced Words, While other people can't spell easy Words."

Overall: I've put in the hardest work possible for this. Other people talk and are lazy, While I've worked my butt off for this. Other people's explanations are short and not sood quality, While I did everything possible to "explain" myself. My intro & Conclusion is long/detailed, While other people's are short. I got an A+."

Strengths: "I have the best writting not because of skill or hatural talent, but because of my Work ethic. I convee my ideas and have a sound voice. Other people's writting suck, but they fit the "criteria," and get good grades anyway."

Weaknesses: "Nothing. The only part could be considered "week' is not doing every nitpicky thing to fit the criteria. Other people's writting is nowhere as good as mine but get equal grade because they fit the "criteria." The criteria doesn't alway recognize good writting.

Goals:
1. Get A+ Forever
Action Plan: I will use pre-writing web, rough draft and all the steps
2. Never get A-
I'lll try to git the "criteria" even if that means lessening the quality of my writting

Is it wrong I want to respond "Yes?"

We are working on editing and revising papers today. I gave explicit instructions, (three times,) including writing them on the board. Of course that means nothing to high school boys.

Student: "Mrs. Scott, what do I do when I am done getting my paper edited (by a fellow peer)?"

Me: "Revise the edits."

Student: "What do you mean?"

Me: (trying not to lose it, since I JUST gave a lesson on how to revise, including a full demonstration with a student's paper; never mind that they have been revising since the 7th grade and these are juniors and seniors in high school.)

"Fix what is wrong, go back through, erase or cross out misspellings, put in transitions, change/replace words with better and/or stronger words, etc."

Student: "So you want me to write my final draft now?"

Me: "No, not yet, you are revising your rough draft right now."

Student: "I don't understand."

Me: "That's because you weren't listening."

Student: Blank "......"

Me: "Go through your rough draft, and on your rough draft, make revisions, cross out or erase and fix it. Then read through it again and make sure it flows. That's called revising."

Student: "So you want me to rewrite my whole paper?"

Me: "What did I just say?"

Student: "I don't know"

Me: (sighing heavily, trying not to throw my shoe and/or stapler at his head) "I really need you to listen to the directions"

Student: "I don't understand"

Me: "I can only help you if you listen you are not listening to me"

Student: "So am I writing my final draft now?"

Me: "NO."

Student: "What am I doing?"

Me: "Fix the edits on your paper, do you see here, all the things people marked as wrong, or need improvement on your paper? All that stuff written all over your paper in different colored ink? What you need to do is take your pencil (pick up your pencil, pick it up...) ok, now fix it...literally, on your rough draft. Like here, you spelled this word wrong, so you need to cross it out and fix the spelling...(go ahead, do that now...)

Student: "Right now?"

Me: "Yes.

Student: "Am I re-writing the whole paper, again right now?"

Me: DON'T re-write it, DON'T write your final draft, just cross out or erase the problems and revise the rough draft."

Student: "So, what am I doing, then?"

Me: glaring...."You need to go sit down now"

Student: "But I don't understand what I'm doing."

Me: "Sorry, you'll have to ask somebody else, now."

Student stomped off, dejected, but somehow, miraculously figured it out.



Later, at the end of class, (this is summer school, so they have class for four hour blocks a day...we revised our papers, then we re-read them, then we wrote the final drafts.)

I have written on the board the following:

"Stack your paper in the following order (bottom to top)
-rough draft including revisions (bottom of the stack)
-final draft
-self-assessment sheet, (completed)
-final scoring rubric sheet (blank)

Staple all together and turn in to Mrs. Scott by 11:30 today."

I then made them all put their pencils down, look at me so I could see their eyes (so I knew at least they were watching me) and demonstrated how I wanted them to turn in their final paper.

At the end of the day, the SAME student handed me his stack, in the opposite order, with no rough draft. I handed it back to him and said:

Me: "This is not correct, if you want me to grade it, you need to read the directions on the board and stack this properly, with all the required pieces.

Student: "It is TOO correct!"

Me: "You are missing your rough draft there, Sir."

Student: "You NEVER said I needed a rough draft...."

Me: I quietly walked over the board, pointed at the words "ROUGH DRAFT" and said "Don't argue with me, Anymore. It's obnoxious."


This evening, I received a text message, from the SAME student.

I had given my cell number (not home phone) to my students at the beginning of the semester to be used in emergencies only, as in, you or your parents are in the hospital, (which actually happened.)

His text message?

"Did I fail the class?"

He currently has a C-, although I haven't yet graded his final paper. He is most likely going to hold at a C-, or drop to a D+.

The question remains however, given the events of today, and his text that is an obvious abuse of my kindness (and beyond annoying,) is it wrong that I want to reply "yes?"

Tomorrow is my Mother's birthday...

Tomorrow is my Mother’s birthday; she would be 50. I am not really sure how to feel. Perhaps more accurately, I am overcome with a flood of conflicting emotions. There is the obvious feeling of emptiness and grief that continues to sit just beneath the surface; that which I try not to think about too much, but will every once in a while get the better of me. The feeling only those who have lost someone so very close, so very connected to them can understand. It is a feeling that a part of you has also died and will always remain empty in their absence.

But I also feel, in some strange way, that maybe she has finally been released from a lifetime of suffering and anguish. Hers was not a charmed or enjoyable life, plagued with loss, disappointment and illness, she endured much for a woman of so few years. It seemed such a great tragedy that, when she finally seemed to be rising above and breaking the chains of disappointment, she would fall ill and lose her life.

Perhaps however, it was grace after all. For she no longer has to suffer and endure the pains of a life in a broken world.

So while tomorrow will be difficult as her absence is made all the more conspicuous on her birthday, I can still feel some peace in the hope that she is now in a better place; finally relieved of the pain of her troubled life.

What’s more, I have the joy of knowing I have the wonderful gift of my daughter; another chance for our family to try to raise a little girl into a strong and beautiful woman. I have every confidence my Mother is watching and guiding me as I go, if now only in my own heart.

Happy 4th of July!

Evie and I went to my friend's Anna's for the day to enjoy the 4th. Bryan joined us after work. We brought over Evie's little inflatable pool, and she enjoyed splashing most of the water out and getting her face wet. I'd call the day a success.

Pictures from Evie's Birthday!

Here are just a few teasers!!!

Poor guys never had a chance

At Evie's "school," there is a little boy with whom she shares a love-hate relationship. Since she started going a year ago, they have been firmly devoted to one another, and (we are told,) the mood of the day for the entire class can be determined by how the couple have been getting along.

When Bryan went to drop Evie yesterday, she was being particularly clingy to her daddy. So, her little friend, (I'll call him "C") climbed down from his chair, walked over and gave her a hug. Evie responded, in pure two year-old female dramatic fashion, by grunting at him. Bryan then said, "oh Evie, isn't that nice, "C" is giving you a hug!" She grunted again. "C" then hugged her from behind and proceeded to stand quietly by, petting her arm, saying "is okay Evie, I here...."

Bryan then said, "Evie, why don't you say hi to "C" he wants to play with you..."

She grunted.

"C" tried to hold her hand, she recoiled in coy annoyance.

Bryan then suggested she play "Ring around the Rosie" with "C," this, she could not resist. She twirled around and announced, "Hey C, Ring 'Round Rosie!" Excited to finally be getting some attention from his beloved, "C" happily obliged her.

And so the two grabbed hands and twirled and twirled and danced, happily giggling around on the little carpet.

Evie looked up at Bryan and said, "Okay, Bye Daddy! See ya later!"

Bryan left, happy she was no longer "upset," but dejected she could so easily dismiss him for her other male suitor.

It frightens me, really, how much power this tiny little girl already wields over the males in her life.

I now understand my mission: trying to teach her to use her powers for good instead of evil.

A Bittersweet End

On Friday, my first "official" school year came to a close. It was a rather bitter-sweet end as I currently have no continuing contract thanks to budget cuts. It was also tough due in large part to a difficult job-sharing situation with a teacher who was completing an administrative internship and basically left all the teaching, grading, counseling etc. to me, but with half the pay and no respect.

I have spent most of the year working in a partnership with a person whom students have adored for years, who this year could not give them the time of day. I have been the teacher, the mentor, and the mom in a shared-custody agreement; I am the one doing the regular mundane every day tasks, and he would show up once a week and take them to Disneyland.

It's been a very tough year for me, but I have plodded on day in and day out, hoping my own efforts would in fact teach them, somehow make a difference in their young lives.

As I stood there (alone) at the honor roll assembly, I looked at my young students and felt a mixed blend of relief and sadness wash over me. Relief I would no longer have to endure the shenanigans and inconsistencies of my teaching partner (who was again not there,) sadness that I would no longer get to work with and teach my kids as they were moving on, and I was out of a job due to budgets.

There was one student in particular with whom I worked all year long. The student started out very slow and was often not even showing up to school. The student happens to be an athletic prodigy but had some emotional stuff to work through. The student had determined that they could get through school on their talent alone.
I thus had a "come to Jesus" meeting with the kid, sitting them down and telling the story of a young athlete I know, whose athletic career came to an end after they were hit in a tragic car accident. I explained that my friend, who was no longer able to play sports, still went to college however, because they were not only a good athlete, but also an excellent student. I then asked my student, "what's your plan B?" We talked again, days, weeks. And soon the student began to understand that everybody needs a backup plan. So I made a deal with the kid, "you get yourself on the honor roll and stay there, and I will come to your high school graduation and sit with your mom and cry my eyes out. Wherever you are, I will come and I will cheer for you; I'll write letters of recommendation, I'll call colleges on your behalf. Get yourself on the honor roll, stay there and then you'll not only have your athletic scholarship, you'll have an academic one as well.

After some constant follow up and encouragement from me and a commitment of hard work from them, that student not only finished strong, but finished with honors, both semesters; I was beaming.

What was surprising however, was that the mother of the same student came up and thanked me, not just for believing in her child, but for sticking with the kid and "helping" the child realize their own potential. There were tears, and I was very taken back by the gratitude and kindness. More so when the student came running up and hugged me. Then, they both said, "wherever you are Mrs. Scott, we're going to find you, so you can know how I'm doing."

To which I responded, "I'm counting on it."

Following her, another parent and their child did the same.

It was then I realized regardless of the inconsistencies and frustrations of my teaching partner, I did make a difference in these kids' lives, at least a few.

And so I end my year sad, but hopeful. I still don't know where I will be next year, but I am hopeful that something will eventually work out.

I completely stole this entire post idea...

I have never met Holly Burns, although I read her blog regularly. I like to think, should we ever happen to cross paths one day, we would immediately form an impenetrable bond of sisterhood and wonder how it was ever possible we weren't friends before.
Yesterday she wrote a post entitled "A Partial List of Things the Rest of the World Seems to Love and Yet Towards Which I Remain Curiously Lukewarm." I found it both hilarious and very intriguing and decided I would make my own. Because I'm a follower and it is the last two weeks of school and thus I have no original thoughts in my head as of late.

Enjoy.

My list of things the rest of the world seems to love and yet in which I am rather disinterested...

*Twilight

*Sushi

*High Heels

*White Capris

*Harry Potter

*Peasant Blouses

*Hummus

*Designer handbags (or a replica thereof)

*Oprah

*Las Vegas

*Cameron Diaz

*Guacamole

*The DaVinci Books

*Convertibles

*Celebrity reality shows

Pictures of Evelyn!!!

Many of you have been asking for new pictures of Evelyn. This has been challenging lately as work schedules have been crazy and Steph's computer is on its way out and our little Canon Powershot is no more.... : (

However for an early Father's Day present, Steph bought Bryan a new Olympus digital camera so we can get some new pictures and video clips to share with everyone! Here are some of the first pics Bryan took while playing with the camera for the first time.