Spawning

I was teaching today about the importance of salmon in the pacific northwest, especially to the Coastal Indians. (we're studying the first peoples of Washington, you see.)

So there I was, trying to explain how the Native Americans used nets called "weirs" to catch the fish when they were spawning. And there, the problem was born.

Spawning.

Spawning and the 7th grade.

Yeah.

So of course, I was asked, "Mrs. Scott, was IS spawning?"

And I looked at the student, and I looked at the class, and I said, "it's one of your vocabulary words, you tell me."

And the student said, "you mean, like the fish, you know, do it?"

I said "No. They lay eggs."

It was then that another student rasied their hand, "but wait Mrs. Scott, if the girl fish lay the eggs, are they already, you know, all "fertilized?" I mean, you know, do the boy fish have, like, thingies?"

Sigh. And off the tracks we go...

And so I tried to explain that the female fish would release her eggs and the male fish would then fertilize them as they fell into the rocks below.

"But Mrs. Scott, how are the eggs BEING fertilized? I mean, you know, are the boy fish HURTING the eggs? How does it work, exactly?"

Ahem. I should have just stopped it right there. But no. I am always one to try to explain things. I always try to answer their questions. Because you see, I'm an idiot.

And at this moment, it came to me, the perfect metaphor. I can explain this to them in a way they can understand.

And so I said, "how many of you have ever seen a crop dusting plane flying over a field?"

It was at that moment I realized maybe my idea was maybe not as good as I thought. I could hear my brain saying "nooooooooo!"

But it was too late. It was out there. The plane, and the dusting.

"So you mean Mrs. Scott, the boy fish SPRAY their stuff? All over the eggs?"

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH"

Good-bye topic. Good by attention. Good-bye class, I can see I have completely lost you by now.

Just another day in the 7th grade.