Judged in public

I have been fighting a nasty cold for several weeks and since I have yet to sleep at night due to horrible coughing spells and having a difficult time breathing, I decided to go to the local clinic this morning while I had a husband around (he took Evie to church.) When I arrived at the clinic, they were most displeased with my lack of air movement and promptly decided to treat me for pneumonia. My husband met me at the clinic as I was leaving since he had to go to work; we made a kid swap and Evie and I made our way to Target where I could procure my bag of medication.

The pharmacy, being the only one in the area open on a Sunday was a bit swamped and was going to require a 30 minute wait. So she and I wandered around the store. It was past lunch time and into the nap hour. I grabbed a box of goldfish crackers and let her begin to eat, but she soon lost interest. I put them in the cart and told her she could walk with me.

She preferred to push the cart, which was fine with me, we had nothing to do, and it kept her entertained and in front of me.

All was well for the first 25 minutes. The last five seemed just too much for the little tot and she wanted to run. I squatted down to her eye level, put my hands on her shoulders and told her she had to hold my hand, or the cart, or I would put her back in it. She whimpered for a second and said she wanted to push, so I let her. This lasted about 30 seconds when she began to stray again. I pulled the cart over and told her she needed to hold my hand.

I really had no objective, I was simply trying to kill time until the pharmacy called my name (we were circling the area) I was just not about to let her run free.

We were by the greeting card section and I noticed they had Easter cards, so I asked her if she'd like to pick one out for Mamaw, she liked that idea, so we walked over to the bottom row of grandparents cards and I let her pick one...she found one she liked, and started kissing it. Perfect. I told her we could go now, and of course this is when things really took a turn.

She didn't want to go, so I quietly grabbed her hand and led her back to the cart, she sat on the floor. I scooped her up and placed her in the cart. During this time, I had pulled over to the side to stay out of traffic, but apparently this was amusing to other people as they just stood there, watching. I now had an audience as I dealt with my tired, hungry, cranky 20 month-old while I waited for my prescriptions.

I told Evie she had to sit down on her bottom, she cried and arched her back. I gently but firmly pulled her little legs down so she would have to sit in the cart, but as I went to sit her down I noticed the greeting card under her; she grabbed it and chucked it out of the shopping cart. At this point, a woman standing behind me observing the entire situation said "ohhh noooo."

Another woman, also standing by watching and scowling, sighed heavily.

I secured Evie in the seat, walked red-faced in front of the crowd of spectators to pick up the crumpled card and envelope which had fallen a few feet away from the cart and right in front of the shoes of one of the women. As I bent over, the crowd of women all stood there, arms crossed, jaws clenched, judgment dripping off their faces, glaring down at me.

Evie was now quiet, sucking her thumb and twirling her hair. I walked back to her and the cart, gently placed the card in the back of the cart, stroked her hair and pushed her over to the pharmacy counter.

The people sighed, shook their heads in disgust and finally walked away.

I'm not really sure why all women were standing around watching me with scowls and sighs. I never screamed at my kid, I wasn't shaking her or pummeling her. I kept my voice low and calm, I got down to her level. I remained consistent and I didn't give in to her tyrannical behavior. There are days when I completely suck as a mother, but this was not one of those times. At least not that I know of.

Yes, my daughter was being difficult, but she was tired and hungry, and truth be told she was still not throwing a full-on fit. She wasn't screaming or kicking or hitting, all of which she is very capable of. She threw a card arched her back and cried for less than a minute. She was tired and she was hungry, and she was acting out because of it. I was making her do something she was barely capable of doing because I had to get the prescriptions; the pharmacy closes early on Sundays.

It made me realize that there have been times in the past, before I had a child that I would find myself annoyed at people who would wander around the store with their screaming children. I would never stand there and gasp at them, or say anything, but I know I would express my annoyance later at home "why do they have to bring their kids to the store when they're cranky? Just take them to the car if they're throwing a fit!"

HA. The wisdom of a childless parent. I would like to take this moment and apologize for any bad thoughts I had prior to being a parent myself.

I would like to say though, I would never just stand there and watch a woman suffer with her kid; I have NEVER made comments to another parent about their child, and if I saw a mom struggling with a kid, and the kid threw something out into the middle of the aisle, I would certainly pick it up and hand it back to the mother; that's just basic courtesy.