Like a waterfall in slow motion, Part One
3 years ago
Sunday, January 10, 2010
Wednesday, January 06, 2010
An open letter to the parents of 7th grade students
Dear Parent,
I am sorry your child won't do their homework and their grade is now horrible. However, please don't blame me. Of course your child is very talented and is brilliant at everything they can do. How proud you must be of them! And yes, until this year, your child has always been an “A” student and you cannot understand why they could ever have such a low grade now.
I know it is tempting to blame the teacher. After all, your child has always excelled at everything and the only change has been me, so obviously, I must be the problem. Unfortunately, you are missing one MAJOR element here. Your child is entering adolescence.
Your child is becoming a teenager, and with this also comes hormones. Sadly, when children are pumped full of hormones, they only have blood flow to control one part of their body at a time. They lose their abilities to think rationally due to no fault of their own; they are basically toddlers stuck in adult bodies.
However, I have also heard your child has their own cell phone, with which they text message their friends into all hours of the night. Of course they wouldn’t go to sleep, they are basically toddlers and have no sense. And when you let them use their phones and you don't take it away when they wrack up thousands of minutes, what would keep them from continuing?
And of course you would buy them an XBOX live for their birthday; they obviously deserve it. But your child tells me they spend every minute they have, when they are not at practice, playing it. So obviously they are too tired to study.
Finally, I know your child is taking music lessons and is on the select sports team; obviously keeping your child well-rounded and allowing them to use their talents is good for them.
Unfortunately, with your child being so busy, what with the wracking up 3000 text messages per month, playing their XBOX live until 2am on a Wednesday and spending every other night at soccer practice and piano lessons, your child has little to no time for other activities, like sleeping and doing their homework.
They come to my class exhausted, often wearing the same outfit they had on the night before, as they are far too tired in the morning to shower or put on clean clothes. By the time they are finally awake and ready to learn, they are so hopped up on their lunch of Doritos, fruit snacks, soda, Oreos and a PB & J, they can barely sit still.
I know that parenting a teenager is one of the hardest thing any person has to do in their life. I have 58 of them, I understand. But I would really like to ask you a favor. Would you mind meeting me in the middle? I have to teach them every day, and like I said, I have a lot of them. So could you take over when they get home?
Could you make them do their homework BEFORE they play their video games? And since your child currently has such a horrible grade in all their classes (not just mine,) perhaps it is time to consider taking away some privileges, (like the games, or that select sports team, or their cell phone,) until they can prove they are responsible enough to handle their job as a student and a member of your family.
I know your child tells you that you are being unfair and that they hate you when you do actually make them suffer some consequences. It must be very hard to have your own child speak to you so horribly. However, please understand, it is much better they learn hard lessons now, when they are still very young, than when they are actually adults in society.
Thank you,
The teacher
I am sorry your child won't do their homework and their grade is now horrible. However, please don't blame me. Of course your child is very talented and is brilliant at everything they can do. How proud you must be of them! And yes, until this year, your child has always been an “A” student and you cannot understand why they could ever have such a low grade now.
I know it is tempting to blame the teacher. After all, your child has always excelled at everything and the only change has been me, so obviously, I must be the problem. Unfortunately, you are missing one MAJOR element here. Your child is entering adolescence.
Your child is becoming a teenager, and with this also comes hormones. Sadly, when children are pumped full of hormones, they only have blood flow to control one part of their body at a time. They lose their abilities to think rationally due to no fault of their own; they are basically toddlers stuck in adult bodies.
However, I have also heard your child has their own cell phone, with which they text message their friends into all hours of the night. Of course they wouldn’t go to sleep, they are basically toddlers and have no sense. And when you let them use their phones and you don't take it away when they wrack up thousands of minutes, what would keep them from continuing?
And of course you would buy them an XBOX live for their birthday; they obviously deserve it. But your child tells me they spend every minute they have, when they are not at practice, playing it. So obviously they are too tired to study.
Finally, I know your child is taking music lessons and is on the select sports team; obviously keeping your child well-rounded and allowing them to use their talents is good for them.
Unfortunately, with your child being so busy, what with the wracking up 3000 text messages per month, playing their XBOX live until 2am on a Wednesday and spending every other night at soccer practice and piano lessons, your child has little to no time for other activities, like sleeping and doing their homework.
They come to my class exhausted, often wearing the same outfit they had on the night before, as they are far too tired in the morning to shower or put on clean clothes. By the time they are finally awake and ready to learn, they are so hopped up on their lunch of Doritos, fruit snacks, soda, Oreos and a PB & J, they can barely sit still.
I know that parenting a teenager is one of the hardest thing any person has to do in their life. I have 58 of them, I understand. But I would really like to ask you a favor. Would you mind meeting me in the middle? I have to teach them every day, and like I said, I have a lot of them. So could you take over when they get home?
Could you make them do their homework BEFORE they play their video games? And since your child currently has such a horrible grade in all their classes (not just mine,) perhaps it is time to consider taking away some privileges, (like the games, or that select sports team, or their cell phone,) until they can prove they are responsible enough to handle their job as a student and a member of your family.
I know your child tells you that you are being unfair and that they hate you when you do actually make them suffer some consequences. It must be very hard to have your own child speak to you so horribly. However, please understand, it is much better they learn hard lessons now, when they are still very young, than when they are actually adults in society.
Thank you,
The teacher
Monday, January 04, 2010
Sunday, January 03, 2010
A Year in Review
2009- A Summary
January
A new President was inaugurated, Evie had tubes put in and we bought a new dining set fit for giants.
February
Evie demonstrated her independence and Steph nearly killed her students on Valentine’s Day.
March
The water heater exploded, the state cut funding for education and Stephanie’s brain died. March was bad.
April
Bryan’s Grandmother came to visit.
Still recovering from the seizures, Steph started back to work, where one of her students wrote an essay about the “16th” chapel.
May
Evie discovered the potty by throwing things in it, and Bryan really, really hated his job.
June
We finally finished the flooring project, three years after it began.
Steph’s school year and job ended; Bryan still hated his job.
July
Bryan’s family came to visit and Evie turned two! Bryan and Steph celebrated five years of marriage.
Steph taught summer school to a high school English class of 17 boys and one girl; by the end of summer school, the class was down to 10 boys and one girl.
Steph bought a 2003 VW as her commuter car; it started breaking the week after she drove it off the lot.
August
Steph was hired back to her school in the same position for another year; Puck tried to eat Evie’s face and the hunt was one to find him a new home.
Evie started dancing, all the time.
Bryan was at work most of the month, dealing with “Cash for Clunkers.”
September
Steph turned 30 and started her first school year in her OWN classroom.
October
Puck moved away, Bryan had a birthday and he and Evie went to Texas for his 10-year college reunion/homecoming. Evie was a perfect traveler.
Then they got home and Evie drank a bottle of Motrin.
November
Steph dislocated her knee.
We celebrated Thanksgiving and Bryan continued to hate his job.
December
Steph enjoyed two weeks away from seventh graders, we celebrated Evie's third Christmas and Bryan enjoyed some quality time with his best friend, Brian T.
January
A new President was inaugurated, Evie had tubes put in and we bought a new dining set fit for giants.
February
Evie demonstrated her independence and Steph nearly killed her students on Valentine’s Day.
March
The water heater exploded, the state cut funding for education and Stephanie’s brain died. March was bad.
April
Bryan’s Grandmother came to visit.
Still recovering from the seizures, Steph started back to work, where one of her students wrote an essay about the “16th” chapel.
May
Evie discovered the potty by throwing things in it, and Bryan really, really hated his job.
June
We finally finished the flooring project, three years after it began.
Steph’s school year and job ended; Bryan still hated his job.
July
Bryan’s family came to visit and Evie turned two! Bryan and Steph celebrated five years of marriage.
Steph taught summer school to a high school English class of 17 boys and one girl; by the end of summer school, the class was down to 10 boys and one girl.
Steph bought a 2003 VW as her commuter car; it started breaking the week after she drove it off the lot.
August
Steph was hired back to her school in the same position for another year; Puck tried to eat Evie’s face and the hunt was one to find him a new home.
Evie started dancing, all the time.
Bryan was at work most of the month, dealing with “Cash for Clunkers.”
September
Steph turned 30 and started her first school year in her OWN classroom.
October
Puck moved away, Bryan had a birthday and he and Evie went to Texas for his 10-year college reunion/homecoming. Evie was a perfect traveler.
Then they got home and Evie drank a bottle of Motrin.
November
Steph dislocated her knee.
We celebrated Thanksgiving and Bryan continued to hate his job.
December
Steph enjoyed two weeks away from seventh graders, we celebrated Evie's third Christmas and Bryan enjoyed some quality time with his best friend, Brian T.
Friday, December 25, 2009
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
When you know it's time for a break...
Scene 1:
Student- "Mrs. Scott, She pushed me!"
Student 2- "Nuh uh! You poked me first!"
Me- "What grade do I TEACH?!?"
Students (blinking)- "ummm, 7th?"
Me- "HOW OLD are YOU?!?"
Students- "Ummm, 12."
Me- 'CORRECT!" You are not in kindergarten; stop acting like you are!"
Scene 2:
Me- "I'm going to give you 5 more minutes to work quietly, and then we're moving on; when I say stop, you will need to get your notes out and be ready to listen."
"Okay, you have 4 minutes left."
"Three minutes left, folks."
"Two minutes, please start wrapping up"
"Ok, you have one minute, you need to finish what you are doing and get out your notes, please."
"TIME! Please put that away and get out your notes."
"Ok, let's begin"
Student: "WAIT! I'm Still working!"
Me: "The direction was to stop and get out your notes, please do so, now.
STOP.
STOPPPP!"
(in a very calm and yet stern tone,) PLEASE put your pencil DOWN. STOP WRITING and get out your notes."
Student (still writing)- "But...I'm almost done!"
Me- "Put your pencil down NOW, get our your notes, I'm moving on without you."
Me- (turning to class) "Ok...let's begin." (and I begin giving the second part of the lesson, writing what I say on the overhead.)
Student-"WAIT! I didn't catch what you said, could you repeat it, please?"
Me- "Nope. You didn't follow the directions, you'll have to catch up when I’m done talking." (and then I continue the lesson.)
Student (to another student sitting across the aisle.) "Hey, what was the first thing she said?"
Me- "I have asked you to be quiet, stop and listen, do not interrupt him because you failed to listen and do what you were asked."
Student- “I’m just trying to take notes, geez!”
Me- “You are not following directions, you are being rude, and you have now taken time away from the rest of your class. If you interrupt me again, you will leave.”
Student sighs (in the most adolescent, annoying way possible)
Scene 3
Kids are working on an assignment, I’m circling the room, giving individual help.Student- “Mrs. Scott, he took my pencil!”
Me- “Ok?”
Student- “Don’t you care?”
Me- “Not really, no.”
Student- “You don’t CARE he took my pencil?”
Me- “Basically, something like dealing with a pencil is not really at the top of my list of priorities right now.”
Student- (in a very high-pitched whine) “But he TOOK it! and now I can't WORK.”
Me- (while taking the stolen pencil and returning it to the whiner,)
“WHAT GRADE DO I TEACH?”
Students- “Siiigh.”
Wednesday, December 09, 2009
All I want for Christmas is a "wrong answer" buzzer for my classroom
Question: Explain and describe why the ancient kingdoms of Africa have disappeared?
Answer #1: "The ancient Kingdoms of Africa have disappeared. They have because the fall of the people. Also the empire."
Answer #2: "The ancient kingdoms of Africa have disappeared because of the war. Many people started to fight over traded goods. Or split in the religion, and many kingdoms move to different areas."
Answer #3: "The kingdoms of Africa have disappeared because there wasn't enough $ and the armys kept invading them."
In case you were wondering "About the empire" is my favorite part; makes me laugh out loud every time I look at it.
Answer #1: "The ancient Kingdoms of Africa have disappeared. They have because the fall of the people. Also the empire."
Answer #2: "The ancient kingdoms of Africa have disappeared because of the war. Many people started to fight over traded goods. Or split in the religion, and many kingdoms move to different areas."
Answer #3: "The kingdoms of Africa have disappeared because there wasn't enough $ and the armys kept invading them."
In case you were wondering "About the empire" is my favorite part; makes me laugh out loud every time I look at it.
Friday, November 13, 2009
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